Transparent Shepherding

Organic movement...

2010-02-16T08:56:00.008-05:00

Sunday was an interesting experience and one I will treasure in my heart for a long time. Our winter here in West Virginia has been harsh with lots and lots of snow. I cannot recall such a snowy winter since the late 90's! And funny how none of the global warming groups have uttered a word...I must laugh!

Church services were cancelled due to weather conditions. The steep incline leading to the Living Grace building is one few are brave enough to go up this time of year, despite numerous trips by the snow plow. Instead, we gathered at the Pastor's home for worship and prayer. We shared communion and a meal together as well. God was so wonderfully gracious to meet with us there! His love runs deep for us and Sunday was no exception. I wonder if that was perhaps His Valentine's Day gift to us. For me, I believe it was.

Long before the meeting that morning, the Lord brought to my mind the word 'organic'. Being a gardener myself, this was not an unfamiliar term. Organic gardening methods do not employ chemicals for fertilizer or pesticides. There are no growth hormones or artificial stimulants used to produce or maintain crops. Additionally, a truly organic garden will use heirloom seed, not hybrid or genetically altered/reproduced seeds. Heirloom seeds are those that are harvested from a plant each year and replanted the following growing season. Basically, it's a what-you-see is-what-you-get kind of thing. If you harvest tomato seeds, you will grow tomatoes, not okra.

Have you ever planted a seed from a hybrid plant? I did one year, not realizing I have saved hybridized seeds. I got the most beautiful, lovely pepper plants that year. They grew nicely, flowered abundantly and appeared to be the most vigorous plants in the garden. Only they never produced fruit. Not a single pepper all season, despite multiple flowerings and bushy, strong plants. While I did not use any chemicals in my garden, the seed was not true - it was sterile and could not produce life.

Organic gardens are thriving, living and breathing places. Even Webster's defines it as "of, relating to, or derived from living organisms". Compost is frequently used to rebuild and nourish the soil. It's another interesting thing that the very plants from the previous year are used to provide nutrients to the next seasons plants. Compost is like a wise old soul, seasoned and prepared for a long time before it's best use comes forth. And that use it for the next 'generation' of sorts.

A commercial or traditional garden may 'appear' healthy and productive but it is often laced with poisons, chemicals and other stimulants just to keep it going and keep disease or bugs at bay. Any fruit that is produced must be picked early before being fully ripened so it can be shipped off. After all, there are quota's and deadlines to be filled. The resulting land is frequently barren of anything of real substance. In order to grow anything, one must continually cover the ground within temporary things, those proverbial 'quick fixes' that only lasts for short while.

So, it was not surprising that this analogy of gardening came to mind. The church, the Body of Christ, must guard itself against those temporary quick fixes and things that make it look good on the outside. It must remain 'organic', full of life and, as Webster's also says, "forming an integral element of a whole". We are parts of Body of Christ. We cannot operate as separate pieces, i.e. some legs, some arms, others being eyes or ears. We must come together under the one true Head and that is Jesus Christ Himself. A living, breathing and organic thing, this Church is a moving entity. It flows from a seat of Mercy, Grace and Love...nothing less is expected of us. He leads, we follow. Little Christ's, Christian's, reflections of Him to those around us.

Matthew 11: 28-30 reads, "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you will recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of Grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you, Keep company with Me and you will earn how to live freely and lightly." (The Message)

Let it be so, Lord. Let it be so!

How are you, Madrina?

2010-01-09T14:00:00.011-05:00

Today, I received a letter from the little boy I sponsor in Honduras through Manos Extendidas. His name is Josue and he will 8 years old in April. I got to meet him for the first time in August of 2008 while on a mission trip to the capital city of Tegucigalpa. Josue was quiet and shy, barely mustering a quick hug before dashing out the door with his lunch in hand. That was kind of unexpected to me, as I had hoped to sit with him for a few moments and introduce myself. I had brought a small gift with me and really wanted to watch him open it. But, that was not happening that day. Isn't it funny how kids can surprise us?

Anyway, I was so blessed with his letter, I wanted to share my joy with you:

Hi, how are you Sponsor? I hope that God shines His light of blessings upon you. That is my greatest wish. I want to tell you that I am in the first grade. I do all my homework and get good notes from the school. I am very happy to know you. Thank you for the present you gave me when you were here and thank you for your hugs. It made me happy. I care for you will all my heart and since Christmas has already come, I want to wish you happy Easter as well, next to the people that surround you. Those are my true wishes.

The word "sponsor" is translated by these children as Madrina, which really means Godmother. I was not aware of that until my last trip and when you introduce yourself as Madrina, the children know exactly what you are talking about. I guess the ministry partners who share the hearts of those who want to help them, the name sponsor seems kind of formal.

Josue goes to regular school, which requires shoes & uniforms. Although education in Honduras is free to the 5th grade, if you cannot afford shoes or cannot buy (or make) the uniform, you cannot attend. Education is huge need in Honduras. Without it, the circle of poverty and enslavement to its vicious cycle seems bleak.

The Christian ministry of Manos Extendidas' Child Sponsorship Program is one I have seen work first-hand. There are no 'extra' or cushy expenses, no salaries to pay and certainly no 'fluff' you see in many organizations of this nature. 100% of the monies go directly to the day care and feeding program. For many, this meal may be the only food a child receives each day. The monies go into supporting the children in five(5) main areas:

Education (spiritual and academic)

Medical/Dental

Food

Clothing

Emergency Fund

There are many ways you can impact your sponsored child. First and foremost is to pray for them. There are many battles they must face, spiritual and otherwise. Your prayers protect them in ways you will not always know. Writing a letter, sending a photo or small gift makes their day! Don't worry if you don't speak Spanish ~ there are folks there who will gladly help translate your letter for you.

Want to know more? Visit http://www.mehonduras.org or just email me!

True Transparency...

2010-01-04T07:27:00.006-05:00

I've taken some time off from posting to this blog, among other things and it seems to be the right time to begin again. Perhaps from the start of a new year, a new decade or simply because winter has set in so fully, there is not much else to keep me occupied (aside from housework).

New Year's Resolutions have never been a top priority for me. The reasons vary really....mostly from knowing I won't keep something up for very long, unless it burns deeply within me. Even then, the routine of of it all tends to draw down on whatever reserves I may have set aside for continuing on. This year isn't really any different other than the fact I have had some realizations during this time off.

During my much need de-tox from the obligatory church attendance, I found myself swirling around somewhat aimlessly at times. One of the most important realizations I stumbled upon was how my relationship with the Lord was more tangled in my own perfunctory attendance that I ever imagined. It's kinda easy to sit back and be the one who talks about what all is wrong with mainstream 'church' and not totally embrace its profound effect within my own life. A scripture comes to mind where Jesus talks about removing the log in my own eye before attempting to help my brother with the splinter in his. (See Luke 6:41) Other translations include the phrase "thou hypocrite", which exactly describes my attitude at times.

One must be wary as to what they speak for or speak against. I have seen first-hand how one can become the very thing we supposedly detest the most. I've seen in it others but I have seen it in myself as well. Perhaps, in some way, that may be a fine example of how we receive judgement upon ourselves when we judge others. I don't' know, that is merely a thought that crossed my mind. An interesting thought, to say the least....

So, if I were to make a resolution of sorts, it would be something like this:

As I rely on God's Grace, I will not try to be anything or anyone that I am not. I will not adapt myself, my morals, my convictions or my beliefs to any one situation to fit in or be accepted by another. If I have 'sold out' totally for my Lord, then what another thinks is insignificant. I will not compromise my relationship with my Father for relationship with a man, a woman, a cause, nor even my own morals, convictions and beliefs. My relationship with Christ far outweighs my need for any of those things, as they are temporal and fleeting. As I rely on God's Grace, I will look upon others with compassion, not judgement for their failings are no more impressive than my own. I refuse to wear any mask, religious or otherwise, that would belittle my fellow brother or sister, regardless of their actions. I will clothe myself in the inexhaustible Love of Jesus, extending the same hand to them as is extended to me from Heaven. The blood of Christ was shed so that ALL might come to Him and know Him personally as Savior and Lord.

As I rely on God's Grace, I admit my own short-comings and failures, for they are indeed many. I will not, however, use that precious Grace as a crutch to continued sin. As I bare myself before the Father, I am certain He accepts me just as I am. His love pours out upon me without any effort of my own. He adores my brokenness and is closer to me at any given moment than the air I breathe. It is in this brokenness, that I am made whole in Him. There is nothing I can do, good or otherwise, to earn His love and acceptance. It is already there and always has been. He loves me way too much for me to comprehend, to begin to fathom that leaves me awestruck.

As I rely on God's Grace, I will allow myself to feel again. Emotions may be fickle and not trustworthy but God gave them to us for a purpose. They are not to be relied upon but I do realize that Jesus 'felt' things as I do. He wept, he was angry, he became frustrated, upset and so on, just like me. It was during these times, He clung to His Father all the more, doing the will of His father, not His own. I must allow His grace to overtake me completely, in my emotions too so that I can maintain my love walk with Him. Denying hurt, pain, joy or happiness only creates another facet of the fake me. I will not do that.

And finally, I acknowledge "...all things work together for good to those who love the Lord, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28) I want His purposes to be be my purposes. THE MESSAGE reads that same verse as "That's why we can be sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good." I cannot despise my past, for every detail has been shaped into God's purpose. My past does not dictate my future but has definitely had an effect on who I am. Nothing has gone unnoticed by my Father, nothing at all. I rest in the assurance He is fully aware of where I am, yet He remains unshaken in His good will towards me. His love is unfathomable once gain. Awe and wonder prevail!

So, as I attempt to continue writing, blogging, sharing (whatever you want to call it), I first want to be transparent myself before the Father. I don't want people to look at me and see me, my accomplishments, my musings or anything about me. I simply want people to know Jesus and the Lord chooses to work through me, I want to be fully aware of His presence and His will for that given moment. If He chooses simply for me to minister unto Him, then so be it. What an amazing calling!

Only in Him do I find completeness...

Have mercy on me, a sinner...

2009-12-07T08:34:00.009-05:00

As the holiday time arrives and winter unleashes its frozen fury, I find myself with a things-to-do list that seems unending. Of course, none of these things are pressing really...I don't have to put of Christmas lights or even a tree for that matter! Just things I like doing and almost feel obligated to do each season.

I am thankful for the fact that I don't have do any one of these things. Funny how I find myself so easily worked up and stressed over the things that aren't done but, in looking at their true importance, I find them lacking any real value. Honestly, I grow tired of all the work I seem to put in such fruitless tasks these days. Questioning truth and value for what is real brings little satisfaction in my consumerist displays of the holiday 'spirit'.

A couple of weeks ago, my neighbor was killed in a car accident. I had to perform my first funeral and truly experienced God's grace in it all. Honestly, this was purely Jesus taking over and walking each of us through our own private pain in this loss. At funerals, when the minister opens some time for others to speak, it is often times only one or two people who opt to share. This day, however, was different and only one or two people DIDN'T speak. They were too overcome with emotion to do so but laughed, cried and shared with everyone. What had been 'scheduled' for about a 15 minutes service lasted more than an hour. Graciously, the funeral home allowed us to finish, which set us upon the pathway to healing. Grief is a most mysterious thing...and such may yet another post, just not for today.

Where was I when my neighbor died? I was in my deer stand hunting. I felt so guilty when I realized this! I wasn't doing anything of real value at that time, just scanning the woods and the internet via my Blackberry at that very moment. So many questions left unanswered, so much left to ponder about the sheer brevity of life. James 4:14 talks about this: "Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what will happen tomorrow. what is the nature of your life? You are [really] but a wisp of vapor (a puff of smoke, a mist) that is visible for a little while and then disappears [into thin air]." Amplified Bible In reading this passage, I am once again gently reminded by God of His vastness and my own frailty. Humbling to consider it all and how often this is taken for granted.

Life is truly a treasure, a gift to be opened and then given back to the One who gave it. I am so guilty of doing my own thing, going my own way and living my own life often without much consideration of the impact I may or may not have. Jesus affected every person He encountered on this earth. I can only hope to walk in His ways, and its only by His Grace that my steps begin again and again. He is so faithful to follow beside me, picking me up along the way and setting me back upon His pathway to real life. I often wonder why He does not grow tired of repeating such things.

Jesus dripped love and mercy, unwavered by obvious sin in those He came across each day. And it is with same undying love and mercy that we are to extend to others. Without judgement, He shared His great love and how passionate the Father is about is children. Why do we find this so difficult or, should I say, so easy to slip away from? With Him, all things are possible! Without Him, our struggles overwhelm us and choke out the very life He died to give us. Lately, I have found myself looking through those judgemental attitudes of my own, then wondering how Christ loves me so unreservedly, so passionately and so deeply.

Recently, I read a chat post from a Christian in another state who was participating in prayer vigil outside a newly opened abortion clinic. It was stated the purpose was for Christian's to pray there and the reason actually took me by surprise. Evidently, the purpose of this vigil was so the doctor would not feel welcome there and would pack up, moving somewhere else. I must admit how troubled my spirit is over such an action. What about that doctor's soul? What about his salvation and eternal fate? Did anyone think of him?

I guess the 'Christian' side of social justice is as flawed as the non-Christian ways. I can agree with wanting the killing of unborn children to stop and am glad there are people who are willing to step out in prayer, standing on the gap for those who cannot speak. And, I must admit, I wouldn't want an abortion clinic set up in my own back yard either. But who is praying for the doctor who performs those abortions? Who is praying for the nurses and other staff there? Are they any less worthy of God's Grace than I? I think not! Have we, as Christians, become so proud in our 'faith' that we are quick to stand up against wrong doing, denounce the sin so obvious in anothers actions but not once think of what sin in our own? Why do we have the 'us against them' mentality?

I was listening to the radio yesterday afternoon and the story about the Pharisee and the tax collector was read. It talked about how the Pharisee had gone to the temple to pray, ever thankful he was not like 'other men'. He wasn't a robber, an adulterer or other 'evil doer'. He thanked God that he fasted twice a week and paid his tithes. Oh how we, as Christian's, have become so religiously proud of ourselves! Proud in that we place ourselves above the lowly sinner, those lost in this world and are actually glad we aren't like that anymore.

Yet, what captured the heart of God was the tax collector as he prayed. He was so humbled by God's magnificence, he couldn't lift his head towards Heaven. His prayer was simple yet honestly aware of his condition, "God, have mercy on me, a sinner." And Jesus said, "I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God." Luke 18:14 (NIV).

Oh God, forgive us, Lord for our pride! Heal our hearts from inner darkness, those places where we have yet to allow Your Light shine. Deliver us, Lord, from ourselves and cause us to walk before you with humble hearts, aware of our condition yet equally aware that, by Your Grace alone, we have life everlasting. God, allow Your Holy Spirit to convict us of judgemental attitudes, of reasoning our way of doing things as right and purify our motives. Let us seek You in all that we do, everything we set our hand to. But most of all, Jesus, work deeply in each of us so that Your love, Your mercy and Your Grace is seen within us. Let us be extensions of Christ, examples in every way so that You are lifted up. May You receive all the Glory God! Teach us to walk humbly before You, and give us wisdom, God, for discerning You in every moment of life. Let us have eyes to see and ears to hear! I pray God, for Your forgiveness, as I confess my faults before you, my sins are many but Your Grace is sufficient. I thank You, Lord, for Your mercy and Your love. Without you, God, I am indeed lost. But with You, Lord, is where I long to be, at Your feet, laying down everything. And once more, I surrender....

In God We Trust...

2009-08-31T09:56:00.005-04:00

I thought I would eventually get to posting my Honduras journal but that isn't happening just yet. So, hopefully I can (at some point) post it entirely in some kind of format. Maybe upload as a file, hmm...

This morning, I was reading in Galatians via The Message Remix and have been pondering the Law vs. Grace quite heavily these days. It seems like the church continually wants to resurrect the Law in so many aspects, all the while claiming to be free from it. It does not seem like you can have it both ways though, does it? I mean you can't be a slave to the Law AND be totally free at the same time. The very thought is contradictory in itself.

The Amplified Bible, in Matthew 6:24 reads, "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will stand by and be devoted to the one and despise and be against the other. You cannot serve God and mammon (deceitful riches, money, possessions, or whatever is trusted in). And it is the "whatever is trusted in" that determines what/whom we are fully serving. Do we place our trust in the One True and Holy God or in our own abilities, accomplishments and plans? For if we do the latter, then we are not doing the former. It just doesn't work!

Over and over again, I read in Galatians about trusting in Christ, not the Law. The more I read, the more convinced I have become that our traditions and teachings that come from many pulpits echos Galatians 4:17 "They eagerly seek you, not commendably, but they wish to shut you out so that you will seek them." (NASB) And I really like how The Message puts that same scripture: " Those heretical teachers go to great lengths to flatter you, but their motives are rotten. They want to shut you out of the free world of God's grace so that you will always depend on them for approval and direction, making them feel important."

This has been so central in my frustration lately, I feel like I will burst if I don't release this word. And, I speak to myself in all of this! God is so good and faithful at showing us our own hearts and what motivates us. I find myself sickened at my own selfishness and tactics self-preservation when I am supposed to 'die daily'. That flesh vs. spiritual battle rears its ugly head once more...but, thankfully, the victory is the Lord's.

The church has become full of old Paul's - you know, that man who continually persecuted Christians for their beliefs until he met Jesus face to face and was transformed from within. Paul was an excellent student of the Law. Paul himself addressed this in the book of Galatians, chapter 1 where he says in verses 13-15: "I'm sure that you've heard the story of my earlier life when I lived in the Jewish way. In those days I went all out in persecuting God's church. I was systematically destroying it. I was so enthusiastic about the traditions of my ancestors that I advanced head and shoulders above my peers in my career. Even then God had designs on me."
What we need is that face to face, blinding encounter with Jesus. Then I wonder why it takes such a thing to get get our attention anyway? Because we are trying to do it all ourselves....that's why!

The purpose of the Law was "...to make obvious to everyone that we are, in ourselves, out of right relationship with God, and therefore to show us the futility of devising some religious system for getting by our own efforts what we can only get by waiting in faith for God to complete his promise. For if any kind of rule-keeping had power to create life in us, we would certainly have gotten it by this time. " Galatians 3:21-22.

So what was this promise we are waiting on? Faith in Jesus, being set right in our relationship to the Father God through Jesus Christ. Galatians 23-27, "Until the time when we were mature enough to respond freely in faith to the living God, we were carefully surrounded and protected by the Mosaic law. The law was like those Greek tutors, with which you are familiar, who escort children to school and protect them from danger or distraction, making sure the children will really get to the place they set out for. But now you have arrived at your destination: By faith in Christ you are in direct relationship with God. Your baptism in Christ was not just washing you up for a fresh start. It also involved dressing you in an adult faith wardrobe—Christ's life, the fulfillment of God's original promise. "

The free life in Christ does not involve any other mediator other than Jesus. A priest, pastor, teacher, prophet, apostle or can never make you right with God. Their purpose, according to scripture, is to point you to the One who can -- Jesus Christ. The Promise of God's plan has been restoring His children back to Himself, through faith and relationship in Jesus. Being dependent on any man or woman to make you right with God is futile and will indeed result in eternal separation from God. If you do not know Jesus, you are lost. Some will talk about Jesus, placing a a God tag on every effort they can muster yet they never know Him. Jesus not only wants you to know Him, He wants you to allow Him to know you - your hopes, your dreams, your fears, your failures, every detail (large or small). He does not condemn you or turn you away, He will never leave you or forsake you. His touch is gentle, never pushy or overbearing. And His yoke is easy, His burden is light.

Galatians 3:10-12, "...anyone who tries to live by his own effort, independent of God, is doomed to failure. Scripture backs this up: "Utterly cursed is every person who fails to carry out every detail written in the Book of the law." The obvious impossibility of carrying out such a moral program should make it plain that no one can sustain a relationship with God that way. The person who lives in right relationship with God does it by embracing what God arranges for him. Doing things for God is the opposite of entering into what God does for you. Habakkuk had it right: "The person who believes God, is set right by God—and that's the real life." Rule-keeping does not naturally evolve into living by faith, but only perpetuates itself in more and more rule-keeping, a fact observed in Scripture: "The one who does these things [rule-keeping] continues to live by them."

It is impossible to earn your way to God or to earn His approval by any means other than Jesus. Even those who have asked Christ into their hearts still have that fleshly tendency to strive and strive in working FOR God, doing things for Him when we really don't have to or need to. Jesus died for our freedom from the flesh and its dead ways. He rose again, giving us victory to do all things THROUGH CHRIST because He alone is our strength.

I encourage you this day with this word:

But Jesus' priestly work far surpasses what these other priests do, since he's working from a far better plan. If the first plan—the old covenant—had worked out, a second wouldn't have been needed. But we know the first was found wanting, because God said, Heads up! The days are coming when I'll set up a new plan for dealing with Israel and Judah. I'll throw out the old plan I set up with their ancestors when I led them by the hand out of Egypt. They didn't keep their part of the bargain, so I looked away and let it go. This new plan I'm making with Israel isn't going to be written on paper, isn't going to be chiseled in stone; This time I'm writing out the plan in them, carving it on the lining of their hearts.I'll be their God, they'll be my people. They won't go to school to learn about me, or buy a book called God in Five Easy Lessons. They'll all get to know me firsthand, the little and the big, the small and the great. They'll get to know me by being kindly forgiven, with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.By coming up with a new plan, a new covenant between God and his people, God put the old plan on the shelf. And there it stays, gathering dust."

Leave your old ways, plans and programs on the shelf. Awaken to a new life, one of freedom in Christ alone!

Honduras journal...a prelude

2009-07-30T08:07:00.005-04:00

This will be a series of entries over the next several days as excerpted by my journal from my recent Honduras trip. My thoughts are not in any particular order so bear with the randomness of my thought process along the way. God is indeed working behind the scenes and I am trying not to get in His way.

TUESDAY, July 14, 2009...Two more days until I leave for Honduras. There are so many things left still for me to do and yet time slipping away so quickly. This happens daily but I guess I am much more aware of it when I have a schedule or deadline to maintain. I don't like schedules, too restraining and box like. Ugh! With two days left to prepare, excitement, anticipation and a sense of awe and wonder wash over me unexpectedly through the days of late. I went to Living Waters Church this past Sunday. The congregation prayed for me, along with Samuel, Sarah, Alvin and the MEH ministry (http://www.mehonduras.org). Being out of organized church for a few weeks is very foreign to me and I do miss corporate worship. I was very thankful for being part of a group of folks just loving on Jesus that morning. The simple, non-orchestrated or hyped service was very refreshing and certainly a welcome change from the church I recently came out of. I don't think I could take any more services of loud music right now. It's just where God has me right now.

I'm already tired today. I kind of feel like my body is fighting off a cold and my left ear still has water in it from being at the lake a few days ago. And now, my belly is acting weird but all is well! We departure for the airport tomorrow evening since our plane leaves so early on Thursday morning. Sarah's parents, Kim and Joe are driving Samuel and myself to the airport to catch the plane. I'm sure Sam will be glad to see his sister again and I pray God continues working within his heart for this trip especially. I got the duffle bags packed yesterday with all the supplies & donations we plan to take down. My dehydrator went on the blink so I had to borrow Kim's to finish up on the deer jerky for Alvin. I suppose I could make a to-do list but am certain I would be overwhelmed by it all right now. So, for now, I will continue to plug along at my mental list, even it seems hit and miss right now.

Mike left for a training session in Charleston this morning. This training coincides with my trip and I doubt we get to see each other again before I leave tomorrow night. So it most likely will be 10 days before we see each other again. Maybe he can drive home just for a bit, I don't know. It's 2+ hours away and who knows what their training sessions will be like.

Doc called and I need to cover a shift for Connie at the vet office today. I really need this down time to pack but also sense something is up that needs to be taken care of there. I trust God knows what He is doing. I hope I'm not too tired to write later but I'm not planning on doing anything. Making our own plans tends to thwart the God-dependency we all so much need but avoid. It's not about being prepared rather in planning the day or our time so much we typically leave little or any room for God to reveal Himself. It boils down to control and, while I am in Honduras, I am so not in control of anything. Right now, this is what I need the most - total God-dependency and trust. A sigh of relief comes.....

Some interesting finds...

2009-07-28T17:15:00.012-04:00

So I have been searching for a loom recently, something small to begin with would have been fine. I have looked off and on for a while now but not being sure of what exactly to look for really. Over the weekend, I came across a Craig's List ad from someone having a few looms to part with for 'best offer'. So, I called and went to look. This is what I found...
At left, the Weaver's Delight loom, stamped 9202 out of 35,000 made between 1887 and 1980 something. At right, a 48" Cambridge 4 harness loom unknown date of production, but still looking. Not shown are two table looms, one an Ashford and the other unknown maker.

Imagine my surprise when the seller offered me these gems at free for my taking them! Talk about a provision and answered prayer. I'm still astonished and in awe God would look so favorably on my request to provide a loom over and above my expectations, along with no cost aside from gasoline to drive up and back. I have no words......

Preparing...

2009-07-09T07:07:00.005-04:00

As I write this morning, it dawned on me that in exactly 7 days I will be on my way to Honduras. Both excitement and anticipation fill me and I do wonder what exactly God has in store for this trip. Over the past 2 years, I have been blessed to make two trips to Honduras for short-term missions projects. This trip is a bit different, however, because there is no real 'plan' or agenda for me to follow. I offered to travel back with my friend Sarah, who has been in Honduras since mid-May. What began as a casual suggestion and developed into a a trip I am so desperately awaiting, it's difficult for me to describe.

The US News is filled with reports of unrest and political uprising. While not to make light of the recent shooting and loss of life at the airport, the local news reports from Honduras itself are actually quite different. The 'reality' imposed upon us by the news media suggestions thousands of demonstrators. In speaking to my friends living there, there are a few hundred 'paid' groups who move from place to place, seeking to grab national attention from the news media. Perhaps news media isn't even an appropriate term. It's more like sensationalistic reporting and distortion of truth. Then again, that is in which the world we live, isn't it? I must wonder, however, how much we reporting we are exposed to as 'truth' and it being every bit as much twisted and construed into whatever can grab a headline. One must wonder...

So, I approach this trip with no plan, no thoughts as to what I must 'do' while I am there. I do sense this will be a trip of discovery and revelation from the Lord and for that, I am so grateful. So, to prepare for the unexpected is really quite foreign. I was talking to my friend Sarah the other day and we likened it the scripture where Jesus was commissioning His disciples.

"Don't think you have to put on a fund-raising campaign before you start. You don't need a lot of equipment. You are the equipment, and all you need to keep that going is three meals a day. Travel light. " Matthew 10:9-10 (The Message)

Bare necessities - not a lot of equipment, travel light. OK, so I will live out my carry-on luggage for seven days. If there is one thing I am for sure, it is to take a guitar on this trip. I began playing the acoustic about 6 months ago so I am still very much a beginner. My starter guitar has the hard shell case, a new set of strings and will be my checked luggage (at the gate, of course) but of taking it, that is the only thing of which I am certain. I know a little Spanish, stressing the word little here, but I have learned to sing Jesus loves me in Spanish. I got to translate a few other verses of other songs so who knows what will transpire.

There are a few things I would like to do while I am in Honduras. One is to visit the feeding center and to meet my sponsor son, Josue. Another is to go to the city dump for food ministry there, possibly also go to the orphanage. But, if the Lord wills that none of that happen, I must be OK with that and just simply trust Him. It would be nice to visit the Valley of the Angels too and see the giant Jesus statue there. I have always wanted to be Honduras at Christmas, hopefully with my husband. I think renewing our wedding vows there, standing at the feet of Jesus would be awesome. Lord willing.....

Preparation is defined as "the action or process of making something ready for use or service or of getting ready for some occasion, test, or duty". Just thinking about that is mind boggling! How does one prepare without planning? It's a very foreign thought process indeed. But, maybe that is the point: I'm not supposed to be thinking anyway. I'm supposed to be trusting Him for all things, great and small. So I prepare by making myself ready for service, not by making plans for things to do. That is as close as I can come to understanding what I am to do between now and next week.

Lord Jesus, grant me wisdom and discernment in this time of preparation. Help me not to get caught up in getting things ready but by readying my own heart for whatever it is You have willed. Teach me Lord, Your ways, Your thoughts Your intentions and help me to lose sight of self-interest and self-preservation. Oh Jesus, I need You so much!

My song and prayer for today...

2009-06-30T13:21:00.005-04:00

Father listen to our earnest prayer. Jesus prayed it years ago.

That the glory You had given Him, we would somehow come to know.

Make us one according to Your plan, as in Heaven it will be.

Fill us with the truth and righteousness, You desire the world to see.

Let Your Glory and Honor fall on our face.

Holy Father, rest in this place.

The church is sick and in need of God alone. People, we must seek His face!

If we'll turn from our unrighteousness, He'll forgive our evil ways.

May the eyes of God be on us here. Lord, revive us by Your Grace.

Holy Spirit, be forever near. Saturate us in this place!

Let Your Glory and Honor fall on our face.

Holy Father, rest in this place.

Let Your Fire fall, let the wind blow, let the Glory come down.

words as sung by Jason Upton, Faith CD

Learning to Abide...

2009-06-16T09:31:00.008-04:00

Abide....the word envokes thoughts of rest, peace and quiet but only at first glance. Webster's defines this word meaning as "to wait for; to accept without objection; to remain stable or fixed." Jesus frequently tells us to abide in Him all throughout His Word. He says that He alone is "The Way, The Truth and The Life" but do we trust Him to do just that? Sometimes, I think not. We are too caught up in holding onto some part of our ownselves and our own ways rather than to simply abide in Him. To abide requires one to trust completely, even if the path He leads you is unfamiliar or uncomfortable.

Dwell...to live as a resident (another Webster's definition). Christ dwells within us when we open our hearts to His Lordship. Do we also return the favor by dwelling in Him? Salvation is the easy part - that precious free gift to us that cost Him everything, born out of pure love for us. Dwelling in Him is more diffcult, that constant laying down of ourselves, that proves much harder than we ever imagined. Christ lives in me, He resides within me. Do I also dwell/reside in Him? A hard question to answer some days.

Join...to bring together so as to form a unit (to become one). Jesus prayed that we would become one as He and His Father are One. He pleads for us to draw nigh to Him, abide in Him, dwell in Him, live in Him and to join ourselves to Him. He is always faithful to john Himself to us, no matter what. He desires us to make our home in Him.

Live...to experience first hand; to attain eternal life. I am not making up these definitions, they are indeed Webster's. What is interesting is these words (abide, dwell, live and others) are all the same word used in different translations of John 15 where Christ talks about the Vine and the branches. Try using http://www.biblegateway.com/ to look up this passage, then select from various versions in the drop box.

Remain...to continue unchanged. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. If we remain in Him, in His Holy presence, we are transformed in His image yet we continue unchanged. His presence changes us, oh yes, but our nature takes on His likeness. Pure, holy and restored to fellowship with Him. Remain in Jesus...for to do this requires abandonment to ones own purpose solely for the sake of His Will. Teach me, Lord, to remain!

John 15...The Vine and the Branches (The Message)

"I am the Real Vine and my Father is the Farmer. He cuts off every branch of me that doesn't bear grapes. And every branch that is grape-bearing he prunes back so it will bear even more. You are already pruned back by the message I have spoken. Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can't bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can't bear fruit unless you are joined with me. I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you're joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can't produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples. I've loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you'll remain intimately at home in my love. That's what I've done—kept my Father's commands and made myself at home in his love. I've told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I'm no longer calling you servants because servants don't understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I've named you friends because I've let you in on everything I've heard from the Father. You didn't choose me, remember; I chose you, and put you in the world to bear fruit, fruit that won't spoil. As fruit bearers, whatever you ask the Father in relation to me, he gives you. But remember the root command: Love one another. "

A Lesson in Patience...

2009-05-04T09:40:00.010-04:00

It's turkey hunting season here in West Virginia. Last week, my husband and I were fortunate to harvest our birds but certainly not without a story or two behind them. Such is normally the case with us in hunting and, this year, a lesson in patience was to be had as well. I normally consider myself a pretty patient person. I researched the gift of patience some time ago and found the meaning of the word itself rather simple: the abililty to wait without complaint. It sounds much easier than it actually is.

Early in the morning, my husband and I jaunted down to what I deem my 'honey hole' for turkey hunting. We had heard another gobbler above our house who was actively calling but we opted to continue down to the area where we had been seeing birds for weeks, knowing there was a mature gobbler in the group. As morning began to break across the horizon, we saw turkeys begin to fly down from the roost into the field. It was only a matter of time before that gobbler appeared.

The 'plan' was for Mike to call in the bird and I got to shoot him. Have you ever noticed things don't always go according to our plans? Well, the gobbler came, just as expected, although he was much closer than we thought he would approach. Once he rounded behind us, I knew I could easily turn to get a shot. As I shouldered my .22 hornet, I laid the cross hairs on his side and fired. Much to my dismay, my bullet nicked the only piece of barb wire fence and sent the bird running. Heartbroken and disappointed, I began to question myself, my hunting skills (or obvious lack thereof that day), my rifle - you know, all of the tools I possessed. Mike tried to reassure me to no avail. I was crushed in missing the shot and the turkey.

Twenty minutes passed and Mike called softly to get a line of where the other birds might be. Much to our surprise, the gobbler answered behind us and merely pitched over the hill on foot at the noise of my misplaced shot. I told Mike the next shot was his, should it present itself so he proceeded to call softly until the gobbler cautiously approached from another direction. Once he came into shotgun range, Mike fired and the bird went down immediately. Closer examination revealed a nice 3 year old turkey, one I had been watching for weeks but was not mine to claim.

After tagging the bird, we returned home for a quick coffee and ventured back out above the house to where we had heard another gobbler earlier in the day. I opted to switch to my .20 gauge Benelli shotgun to avoid any fence issues if I had the chance to harvest a bird and off we went to another turkey blind. We set up and sat for about an hour, hearing a distant gobble from time to time. Mike would call to him and get answered but no birds showed up. We had decided to wait another hour before relocating and within a few minutes, a jake showed up. I had my heart set on harvesting a long bearded turkey so I let the jake walk. He fed in the grass and around the trees, scratching in the leaves around our blind.

Just then, a gobble came from just over the ridge and Mike answered him with a hen call. I spotted the turkey out about 120 yards as he jumped on a log and sat down. It was rather funny to watch this gobbler just sit on this log for 15 minutes before deciding to head towards our set up. All the while, the jake meandered around, feeding and scratching. It was a trying time to wait on this turkey to get within shotgun range. More than once, I was tempted to use my husband's over and under (rifle/shotgun) rather than wait for him to get within 50 yards. Each time, I passed on using the rifle, opting to continue to wait for the turkey. He gave us many signs of coming down to our post only to retreat again up the hill as he and the jake fought over the best feeding spot in the field. Despite hen calls from my husband, neither the gobbler or the jake seemed interested in coming any closer to our position.

The 'temptation' not to wait on the gobbler to come within shotgun range was intense. After all, we had been watching this bird for almost 3 hours and he stayed out at about 70 yards. A rifle shot would have been easy and the hunt would have ended long ago. But, I stayed on task with watching the bird and, once he came within range, I let a shot fly and down he went. We looked at the watch and calculated it took nearly 3 1/2 hours for this turkey to come within 60 yards. He had stayed just out of range for my shotgun but I could have harvested him with my husband's rifle.

I'm glad I waited because the time we spent watching was also a time of learning. The lesson was partly in the first part of the hunt, where I missed the first bird. I assumed that all of my plans and strategy would pay off quickly, as planned, so to speak. But I had not calculated for a small strand of wire. In fact, I had not even seen it in my scope. Such are the things of God too, in that we always fall short in leaning on our own abilities and plans. In placing our confidence on these natural things, we can easily miss the mark of God's best for our lives. In the desire to achieve our goals quickly, we often miss a small but influential part of our walk: patience.

In the second hunt, I learned waiting without complaint is not as easy as it sounds. Some things are often kept just out of our reach and for reasons beyond our comprehension. Waiting, waiting and then waiting some more is often what we hear from the Lord. Just when we think we have our shot, we are forced to wait again. If we take matters into our own hands, we risk missing God altogether. Or, at the very least, missing God's best. The pleasure in knowing we have done well in our wait far exceeds the quick fix our culture so often seeks. It is in the waiting that our focus becomes all the more clear to us. And, it is in the waiting our character is refined and revealed.

Thank you, Lord for these life lessons. Help me to stay focused on You - your best for my life, rather than seeking my own way. I pray You will be exalted and magnifed in all that I set my hand to accomplish and that You alone would be glorified. Thank you, Jesus!

The Danger of Relativity...

2009-04-20T09:19:00.010-04:00

Being 'relative' in today's terminology seems to include every aspect of 'whatever goes'. There no longer seems to be an urge or fight for truth, for clarity for the things that are real. Our North American culture adores the areas of fantasy and escape from reality. From video games to virtual life internet, to movies or drugs/addictions into lack of personal responsibility, our fleshly human nature loves the 'un-real'. Reality sometimes brings pain and hurt and rather face these parts of life, our culture prefers to numb itself to feeling anything at all.

Rather than deal in the absolute, that clarity of all things real, it seems much simpler in trying to make everything relative to something else. Or, for that matter, everything else. The two words here, "relative (from the word relate)" and the word absolute are complete opposites in meaning. To relate, indicates an understanding or connection to something, often by emotions or by a physical awareness. Absolute, on the other hand, means "not mixed, pure; not dependent on anything else, not relative".

Absolute describes God perfectly. He is Pure and Holy, not mixed with anything impure or unclean. His existence is not dependent on ours, in fact, it is very much the opposite. Anything and everything created, is for His purpose, for His good. His nature is Love, pure and unadulterated. He is genuine, and very much everything real. He created the Heavens and the Earth with the words of His voice, He painted the landscapes with His creative, artistic nature. He can do anything He wants simply because of who He is.

Making God relative to a human is impossible. We do not think like Him or consider His holiness when trying to relate fleshly thinking with Godly thinking. If it were not for Grace, found only in Jesus Christ, we would not even be worthy of approaching the Almighty. Flesh dies in God's presence. Why else has no one 'seen' Him? It is merely for our own lives sake, that He shields the power of His holiness from our mortal bodies. So why is it so many try to make the message of the Gospel more relative to today's times?

I see so much distortion going on in our world that its often hard to tell the Church from the world. The music often sounds the same, just the words are different. People act differently on Sunday (and sometimes Wednesday) than in the rest of the week. Professing Jesus with the same mouth that spews vile disgust with a brother or sister. It's very confusing and it's no wonder non-believer's ridicule folks who say they are Christian's. I think the most common word I hear used to describe a Christian is the word 'hypocrite'. I am guilty.

The Gospel has always been and always will be offensive in its nature. While totally rooted in Love, the Gospel of Jesus Christ forces one to examine him/her self and make a decision. Are you FOR Him or AGAINST Him? Do you realize your need for a Savior, that you cannot achieve relationship with the Father on your own merit or works, and that without knowing Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, your eternity is one without Him, in hell? The Love of God was so strong that His greatest sacrifice would be one of offering His only Son, Jesus, to take on the sin of the entire world, past, present and future, and to nail it all on Calvary, to be brutally beaten for our sake and the sake of all others, to be crucified and die a horrific, painful and shameful death so that we would not have to bear the awful weight of eternity without God. And, that Jesus went into hell itself, taking the keys of death and the grave with Him, permanently destroying the very roots of sin itself, and was raised from death on the third day, victoriously ascending to the right hand of the Father, where He intercedes on our behalf continuously.

Trying to look at this kind of undying, unselfish Love through human eyes is impossible. It sounds down right nuts really! Christianity requires that, in order to really live, you must die. Now, I'm not talking completely about eternity here, although that is the end result. I'm talking about your life here on earth too. You know, the one where you want to make your own decisions, do your own thing and keep God in the carefully crafted box you made just for Him, perhaps letting Him 'out' to give you a miracle or something? That life! That is the one where you have crucify your own wants, for taking up the Will of the Father. That is the life where you must endure hardship, ridicule, possibly even a physical death just for believing in Him. Yeah, you gotta give all that up and to most anyone, that is just plain crazy!

Some people cannot get past the very thought of not being able to do all the 'good things' in life to earn a place in Heaven. Some cannot admit their need for a Savior, while others still walk away from Him without a slightest thought of the state of their lostness. Some reason not being able to 'see' Him with their own, physical eyes as their reason for avoiding Jesus. Others continually cry out for 'proof' God exists by seeking and demanding miracles or answering prayers before they will believe. The very thing our inner voice craves is a total acceptance by someone and unconditional love by another. God offers this to us, He gave us a will to choose Him or reject Him. Out of Love, He opted to allow our choice rather than play 'puppet master' by forcing all to accept Him, His love, His Son, our Savior.

I am just beginning to grasp this kind of love and am overwhelmed by its depths. And, I must say, trying to take a give-it-all-to get-nothing back life, exampled first by Christ, and somehow make that sound fun and exciting (by the worlds terms), just doesn't work with me. And this is simply because we are trying to see Him through fleshly eyes, we are trying to appeal to human senses. Nothing rooted from fleshly motives will provide anything that lasts. It might make you 'feel good' but the feeling won't last or sustain you through hard times. It's like taking something that Holy and treating it as if it were common. That is very dangerous indeed.

Yes, there is wonderful freedom in knowing the Lord. His gift of salvation truly sets us free! We are free from the very heredity of sin itself. We are free from having to perform before man, to be entertaining in order to draw in numbers, free from a watered down message that talks about Heaven but leaves off the 'hell' part of eternity. The Gospel forces one to examine oneself in the Light of the only Truth that really matters. In Christ, you are free from being relative because you don't have to be. He alone is Absolute, He is Truth, He is Life eternal. In Him alone, you are made free.

Out of Love...

2009-04-12T20:08:00.004-04:00

I came across an amazing revelation in my devotional, My Utmost for His Highest, the other day. It has stuck with me now for days and I feel I am needing to pen some thoughts on this Resurrection Day. The words are these:

"The Cross did not happen to Jesus: He came on purpose for it."

This is a most amazing thought and so much so, it overwhelms me. The purpose of Christ included restoring fellowship back to the Father. The great love He has for each of us continually moved Him to lay aside His on will and take up the will of the Father. His motivation was one of love, not obligation.

Lately, the Lord has been dealing with me about doing things or 'performing' out of obligation. What SHOULD be our motivation in anything is for us to act out of love. Our heart should be motivated by Jesus alone, it should be effortless but often times seems so elusive to attain. I think, perhaps, it is simply because we are more concerned about what man thinks about us rather than what God thinks. We are so programmed to achieve pats on the back, kudos or whatever way you want to dress that up. Lord, help us!

I don't entirely understand pure love, although I pray Jesus reveals that to me more and more each day. But maybe my desire to understand is flesh rooted rather than heart motivated and grounded in Him. I look to His Word in order to see the reality of His Love. There is no where else to find truth other than this and 1 Corinthians 13 reveals the heart of the Lord more than ever.

1 Corinthians 13
The Way of Love

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love. Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled head, Doesn't force itself on others, Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, Doesn't revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end.
Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled. (to vs.12) We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.

Lord, teach me to love extravagantly! I thank You precious Lord for this day of life You have given me. I thank You for loving me even before my conception; loving me enough to give Your very best, Your Son Jesus Christ, to redeem my soul and restore me to right standing in Your eyes. I praise you, Heavenly Lord, for the precious Gift of Grace, Salvation, through believing in Your Son and accepting Him as Lord and Savior.

Oh Jesus, teach me how to love. Teach me how to love!

Lessons in a lamb...

2009-03-13T08:46:00.008-04:00

It seems like such a long time since I last posted. In fact, I think the last post was made the same day that I last received a full night of sleep! Yes, it is lambing time here at the farm and life is certainly full of demands, work, joys and such as we go through this cycle of new birth. God has indeed been faithful in all of these days. Why would that surprise me though? In my recent sleep deprived state, I have broken down more than once and His strength remains to carry me. Oh, how I love Him!

We have experienced 4 lamb losses to date, which is a rare thing here. Many lambing seasons, we have batted a thousand and had all live births without losses. I guess that in in itself is more the exception than the rule but this year seems to be more difficult than previous years. In past seasons, we might lose 1 lamb or, at the most, 2 but never 4. Two lambs succumbed to the cold shortly after birth. I can only guess their mothers were not able to clean them fast enough to get them dry. Single digit temps INSIDE the barn can do that, I suppose. Another lamb was born prematurely, about 2 weeks early. Her mother did all she could but the lamb was not able to survive.

A fourth lamb lived 4 days before it became apparent he did not have the ability to poop for lack of a sufficient rectal opening. The vet calls this an 'incomplete colon' and basically it is the fact all of his pipes weren't connected all the way. As a shepherdess, I was the one who had to make the 'quality of life decision' rather than allow him to suffer in a slow, painful death of sepsis and possible rupture of his intestines. He was beginning to lie around and cry from time to time so I knew something was amiss. Once I discovered the problem, I knew it was not a good prognosis for him.

So, here I am driving to vet office, crying my eyeballs out for this little lamb. As I drive, I began to see a larger picture and how it relates to God, His flock and our responses to Him. If you are careful to pay attention, you can see Him in everything and this day was no exception. I began to see that we are also like this little lamb. We have a deadly condition called 'sin' and it will indeed result in death, darkness and eternal separation from God. Our incompleteness is our desperate need for a Savior for we are truly separated from the Father without Jesus.

We can live our lives for a little while but we begin to suffer, sometimes both in the physical as well as the ever present spiritual suffering without Christ. The number of days we have on this earth is not known to us. Life is but a vapor and we are never promised tomorrow. Every breath we take is numbered by the Lord and He alone holds our time on His hands. Some folks are on this earth for many, many years while others just moments before entering eternity. As the Great Shepherd, He often chooses mercy for those suffering and calls them home into His presence. But what about those who do not know Him?

I was listening to KP Yohannan recently (founder of Gospel for Asia) where he presented a staggering fact: It is estimated that 80,000 people die EVERY DAY without Jesus. I cannot hardly grasp that number of people. In his book, Revolution in World Missions, he offers this way of trying to take hold of such a number: Place your finger on your wrist, locating your pulse. Count how many beats your heart makes in one minute (you can also count for 15 seconds, then multiply by 4). Now close your eyes and try to see this with your spirit. Each heart beat is a soul, a person, one of God's children. And each beat represents a precious one dying lost in this world, without knowing Christ as their Savior. Can you grasp it now?

Just the other day, I broke down in tears again fully realizing my own humanity and flesh. I am convicted of being complacent and self-centered over and over. What I mean by self-centered is this: Any way of life other than that of Christ. Look at 1 John 2:4-6:

If someone claims, "I know him well!" but doesn't keep his commandments, he's obviously a liar. His life doesn't match his words. But the one who keeps God's word is the person in whom we see God's mature love. This is the only way to be sure we're in God. Anyone who claims to be intimate with God ought to live the same kind of life Jesus lived. (The Message)

1 John 2:6 (Contemporary English Version) says, "If we say we are his, we must follow the example of Christ."

Throughout Scripture, Jesus released His own will into that of His father. He didn't do His own thing, live His own life or succumb to pursuing the American Dream. In fact, His life was indeed quite the opposite. He didn't own a house nor did He have land to build on. He didn't have worldly possessions or need to rent a storage building to hold His stuff. He had nothing to call His own, in worldly terms. But He possessed the priceless truth of real life, of intimately knowing the Father and willingly set aside His will for God's.

I want to be like Him and walk as He walked. Most days I see how far from that I truly am from that and it sickens me. Oh how it must frustrate my Lord watching me stumble along this road of life, missing His way so often. I pray He grants me mercy and continues pouring out the Grace I so desperately need. Oh, Jesus, please help me! I am so nothing without You. Don't give up on me, continue pursuing me as I reach out for truly knowing You.

Lord, it is my prayer that each of fully realize the call of God on our lives and pursue You with reckless abandon. Let us lay aside every weight as Your word says in Hebrews! Refresh and renew us Lord, give Your strength alone. May You, Dear Lord, be glorified!

Hebrews 12:1-3 (The Message)
Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

Let it be so, Lord, amen!

Singing in My Sleep...

2009-02-26T07:49:00.004-05:00

I awoke this morning about 4:30 am and had been 'singing' within my spirit an old Keith Green song, "Oh Lord, You're Beautiful". I don't really know the whole song, only that first few lines but its such a lovely tune. I think I have been singing this for weeks now so perhaps I need to learn the rest of it? I wake up most mornings and have this song welling up within me right away. Maybe it's more like being fully aware I had been singing while I was sleeping. Hmm...

The Lord had prompted me to get up early this morning and I failed in my obedience today. We sheared sheep yesterday and I was SOOOOOO tired in my body. Every joint ached and my feet were painful by days end from being in barn boots all day. Yet, it pains me more to know I did not/could not/would not or whatever 'not' get up early to spend time with Jesus. Once again, I ask for His forgiveness and so need His mercy and grace. Oh Lord, You are indeed beautiful to me!

As I was writing this morning, I hopped over to Rockin' with the Cross and found the remaining words to the Keith Green song. The 2nd verse sounds like me this morning:

Oh Lord, my body's tired

But Your keep reminding me

Of many holy, tireless men

Who spilt their blood for Thee

My prayer is that The Lord forgive me once again for my failures and give me strength and endurance to continue The Race, striving and following hard after Him alone. May I not simply admire Jesus from afar and hold Him only in adoration. Adore Him, yes, but do not stop there. Adore Him, behold Him, honor Him, obey Him, love Him in reckless abandon and be oblivious to my own needs, my discomfort or my plan for the day.

Oh Lord, You're Beautiful

Your face is all I seek

And when Your eyes are on this child,

Your grace abounds to me!

Thank you, Jesus, for your faithfulness and your undying patience with me. Your grace indeeds sustains and covers me. Your blood alone is the only thing to make me anything at all before You. I love You, Lord.

In the Silence...

2009-02-11T11:59:00.006-05:00

Silence - why do we run from it? Why do we turn away from the 'absence of sound or noise'? Being quiet or silent implies a sense of stillness - devoid of or abstaining from motion.; uttering no sound. It is a place where 'we' must cease to exist. When we remain here, the focus can shift from ourselves to Jesus. Ecclesiastes 3:7 says there is "a time to keep silence, and a time to speak". We have so concentrated on our speaking, we have forgotten the joy of silence.

This is a place in life where I am welcoming silence. Distractions have been plentiful and there indeed comes a time when we must either pull ourselves away from all the 'noise' or we will get caught up in it. Jesus set the perfect example when He walked this earth and would frequently get away to be with the Father. Sometimes, in order to hear the Father, we need to be quiet and listen; to abstain from motion and utter no sound. Honesty prevails in silence.

In the Silence

by Jason Upton

Tired of telling You, You have me, when I know You really don't

Tired of telling You I'll follow, when I know I really won't

'Cause I'd rather stand here speechless, with no great words to say,

If my silence is more truthful and my ears can hear how to walk in Your way.

In the silence, You are speaking

In the quiet, I can feel the fire

And it's burning, burning deeply

Burning all, it is that You desire to be silent, in me.

Oh, Jesus, can You hear me? My soul is screaming out,

And my broken will cries teach me what Your Kingdom's all about.

Unite my heart to fear You, to fear Your Holy Name,

And create a life of worship, in the spirit and truth of Your loving ways.

In the silence, You are speaking

In the quiet, I can feel the fire

And it's burning, burning deeply

Burning all, it is that You desire to be silent, in me.

The Error of Irreverence...

2009-02-10T11:10:00.011-05:00

This morning, God placed in my mind 2 Samuel 5:19 "So David inquired of the LORD, saying, “Shall I go up against the Philistines? Will You deliver them into my hand?” After reading the rest of the chapter, I was brought back to the very first sentence, "So David inquired of the Lord...." and wondered just how often I missed doing that. How often do I do my own thing and not inquire of the Lord first? Truth be known, it's much more often than I wish it to be. If I can be faithful to the Lord in inquiring of Him in those small things, how much easier will it be during those big things? Or in difficult times?

I continued reading this morning through the next chapter of 2 Samuel - this is where David brought the Ark of the Covenant back to Jerusalem. As I read, it seemed to me as if David's attempt to move God's presence (the Ark) was done simply according to what he thought was the right way. His 'method' (for lack of a better word) appeared to be right but, in the end, this gave way to a scenario that cost Uzzah his life.

In verse 7, God struck Uzzah "for his error" and he died immediately right there beside the Ark. From the verses, I cannot ascertain what Uzzah's actual intention was. The Word only states that Uzzah put his hand to the Ark when the oxen stumbled - it does not specify his intention. Perhaps he did not have an ulterior motive, I don't know. I certainly am not worthy to judge any one else's motivations anyway! As I read the Word, Uzzah's error was in "taking hold" of the Ark. That word 'error' is translated as 'irreverence'. Uzzah disregarded that which is Holy and treated it as if it were common. He was irreverent to the presence of the Lord (the Ark) by reaching out to steady it when the oxen stumbled. Did you happen to notice where the oxen stumbled? It was at Nacon's threshing floor, which is interesting in itself, if you think about it. To begin with, the ground for a threshing floor is normally made smooth and beaten down to make it hard. It is here where the wheat is separated from the chaff. Those oxen took a step that was not expected or anticipated by man but God knew exactly what was going on. Doesn't He always?

As I continued to read, I noticed David had acted in what he believed was a good way to transport the Ark. He thought a brand new cart was an excellent (and easy) way to bring the Ark into Jerusalem. David failed in not learning the protocols of The King. It seemed to me as if David had sought the Lord in what was to be moved (the Ark) but stopped there. He failed to 'inquire of the Lord' as to the 'how' God's presence was to be moved. And it was not until David came into alignment with God's way of doing things that the Ark was transported without someone dying.

With the New Covenant of Christ, the blood of Jesus destroyed the need for any additional sacrifice(s) to be made in order to enter into God's presence. His completeness of Grace and Mercy on the Cross by His total Sacrifice changed the protocols of the Law forever. And yet, we still insist on approaching the Lord our own way, in our own ability rather than His. God cannot look upon sin so we dare not to enter His presence without the blood of Jesus covering us, lest we die. We must continually examine ourselves before the Lord and, at the same time, trust in the fullness of His grace to make us fit to be before the Throne.

So, I began to ponder just how many "Uzzah's" have occurred in my own life because of my error, my irreverence. He has certainly shown me much mercy by not striking me down on the spot and, if were not for His grace, that may have already happened. It is important to know, however, approaching the Lord isn't in a method, system or order - it's a heart condition. Are you surrendered to Jesus? To His will and not your own? Do you approach the Lord because you can? Or might it be simply because you want to, out of sheer love for Him and your desire to be with Him?

Christ's sacrifice on the Cross restored the avenue for open fellowship between us and our Heavenly Father. He wants to walk with us, just like He did with Adam in the Garden, before the fall. Can you imagine their conversations?!? I think God is really calling His children back to Himself not only because He loves us but also in that He wants to spend time with us. He desires for us to know His heart, to show us His dreams for our life. I wonder if He grows tired of listening to our demands, our wish lists and our insistence in doing things a certain way, our way? He is so patient...

John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. (NKJV)

You can't access God in your own way or by your own methods - it's only through Christ Jesus. Oh, please, please, do not use my Lord (do not err by irreverence) as a gateway to the Father for presenting a wish list or just to get something from Him. How that must break His heart! And oh, what a painful lesson we may have to learn as David did.

I love you, Lord. Help me to see the error of my ways in approaching You, most Holy One. Clear my heart of my own wants and desires; replace them with Yours. Thank you, Jesus, for Your perfect sacrifice! Thank you for opening the door back to the Father. Now, let me return to my First Love with reckless abandon!

Oh Lord, You're beautiful!

Your face is all I seek!

For when your eyes are on this child,

Your faith abounds to me.

No greater Refuge......

2009-02-02T08:27:00.008-05:00

Proverbs 30:5 "Every word of God is flawless;He is a shield to those who take refuge in him." (NIV)

What a wonderful place to be - in the Refuge of the Almighty! It's almost too grand of a thought to contain but such relief washes over my soul just reading that verse. For me that refuge is a place of rest, gentleness and release - something I desperately need at this moment. I am overcome with the love of my Heavenly Father no matter where I am or what I am doing. I am so undone.

Do I please Him?

2009-01-28T09:33:00.009-05:00

I have asked myself this question many times and know I have both failed and succeeded. Pleasing the Master is something I hold dear too but all too often can get caught up in the action of doing rather than the place of being. There is quite a fine line, isn't there? As humans, we typically don't 'wait' well, feeling like we must do something to spur God into action. It pains us to see our circumstances seemingly swallow us up while God sits back and doesn't do anything. I have found, however, this is exactly when He is doing the most work but I either can't or won't see it. And it is in these times, we are looking more through our fleshly eyes than our spiritual ones.

Pursuing intimacy with Jesus is my hope. At times, however, I find myself too buried in the pursuit of Him instead of merely being with Him. It's an action that has plagued generations before me as well. I don't just want to know about the Lord, I want to KNOW HIM. And so subtle is the difference! Lately, God has brought to mind many times where my pursuit of learning more about Him and His word took precedence over truly knowing Him, His character, His very being. Now, I know that I cannot fully grasps the depths of His reasoning's for He is so much grander than I, larger than my small concept of life and so above the feeble attempts I make in thought. But, such a relief that is!

Blind trust is not something most folks can do easily. Believing God has that better way ahead is easy to agree with in the beginning but when things don't happen in a certain order or within our specified time frames, we get a little nervous. Am I hearing from God? Am I hearing myself instead? Questions of doubt plague our minds over and over again, sometimes to the point of abandoning the wait altogether somehow convinced we missed it. So often, we fall back on what is familiar and comfortable, trading what is new and unexpected for the traditions or teachings we have grown accustomed to. This safety zone is a threat to the very Life within us because it is during this time of waiting we develop a trust and utter desperate dependency on the Lord. Any hint of ourselves or own ability must be dealt with in contemplative prayer to the Lord. We must abandon our need to 'do' something (i.e. perform) and allow the Light of Christ to perfect us, to work within us as He sees fit. His will, after all, is our sole desire.

Pleasing the Lord never requires us to do something for Him. After all, He is God and needs not our help, our assistance or our input. I recall the words of Oswald Chambers warning us "Beware of anything that competes with loyalty to Jesus Christ. The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him. It is easier to serve than to be drunk to the dregs. The one aim of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for Him." How many times have you been told or taught that your loyalty to someone is measured by the amount your service? Hmm...works comes to mind here! I always thought my loyalty to Christ would be measured more by my love for Him than what I can do for Him. He doesn't need anything from me. He does, however, ask for my life, my love, my will, everything there is about me - after all, He first gave all of that to me so that I could truly live. And I am so thankful for that!

One other thought that comes to mind is about misplaced loyalty. Some would argue Christian's are to be loyal to their families, their friends, their Pastor, their Church but rarely does one hear a calling to be loyal only to Christ. Now, while all being loyal to all of those people may be a good thing, I would argue it that it completes directly with our loyalty to Christ. His word clearly says that you cannot serve both God and man.

Luke 16:13 (Amplified Bible)
No servant is able to serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will stand by and be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon (riches, or anything in which you trust and on which you rely).

Do you see the subtle danger in putting a good thing in place of the best thing? This battle between our flesh and the pursuit of good things verses our spirit and the pursuit of the best thing rages on behind the scenes. The best thing(s) can only found in our relationship with Jesus Christ. No exceptions and you cannot have it both ways. You cannot compromise your loyalty based upon what someone tells you - I would say to search the scriptures for the Truth you are seeking. Anything that I have written, please do NOT take it as truth just because you may agree with it. Search His word, test all things and hold fast to what is good. I pray God filters my words by His word and, where I need correction, I pray His Holy Spirit delivers that and I receive it accordingly.

After all, I want to please my Master. I do not wish to grieve Him in word, thought or action. I pray the Holy Spirit bring to mind the times when I fail Him and bring me to that precious place of repentance before Him. I can see why the Puritan's often prayed for the 'gift of tears' and how being open to conviction, having a soft heart before the Lord is the place to be. May we be humbled in the sight of the Lord, a knowing that His grace is what saves us and what we must cling too. That is my prayer today and may my heart always sing...

All the way, my Savior leads me, who have I to ask beside?

How could I doubt His tender mercy, who through life has been my guide?

All the way, my Savior leads me, and cheers each winding path I tread,

And gives me grace for every trial, feeds me with the Living Bread.

All the way, my Savior leads me. O, the fullness of His love.

O the sureness of His promise, in the triumph of His blood.

When my spirit clothed immortal, wings its flight to realms of day,

This my song through endless ages, Jesus leads me all the way.

Jesus, me all the way!

You lead me, and keep me from falling

You carry me, close to your heart

And surely your goodness and mercy will follow me

It will follow me.

The Idolatry of Misplaced Hope...

2009-01-26T12:40:00.010-05:00

Hope...a word that evokes thoughts of my Saviour, Jesus Christ. He alone is my hope, my salvation and my everything. I cannot imagine placing my trust, my hope or my desires into anything other than Him but I find I still perform some act of idolatry almost daily. Having an idol is merely looking to something or someone else other than God alone. It's not always the golden calf image that wrecks our loyalty to Jesus. It can be more subtle in things like our personal 'image', people liking us, money, spouses, jobs and so on. Anything that takes precedence over Christ can easily become an idol. Sadly, we often become much like those things in which we place our trust.

As I've watched news bytes, sound clips and read various articles over the recent inauguration events, I have been struck by how much misplaced hope there is and especially so among professing Christian's. I do not understand how/why anyone can place hope on the shoulders of any man (or woman) who cannot bear the weight of the government. I remember reading somewhere that Jesus handles all of that. Now, before you get yourself in a tussie, please know I am not saying God fell asleep or was napping on the job when our elections came around. Nothing has taken Him by surprise and I am so thankful for that! Our hope is never to be placed in a man or woman, no matter what his/her belief's are, no matter how many promises are made and no matter who that person believes in, even if that person is a Christian. To do so, is honestly another form of idolatry and it can be so subtle, clad with dreams of change, aspirations and so forth.

What concerns me is I see and hear so many people are placing their hope in a man and any human ability to bring them hope or change to their everyday life. This in itself bothers me. Have we opted to hear only the words of our own hearts desire? I am so amazed how much like the Israelites we have become. Remember in the Old Testament, where Israel demanded a King? This was not God's first intention or His desire for that place was to be His alone. Yet, He gave His children what they asked for and that tradition has been handed down for generations. It's almost like God Himself, the Creator of the Universe is somehow not enough for us. Oh yes, we say things like how we know God is with us or is out there for us but instead of running into His open arms, we choose to run towards a man, an office or a title. If I consider (trust) another human being, his/her ability or policies to somehow bring me hope, then I have betrayed my Jesus.

According to Scripture in Matthew 10:34-39, the Bible says Christ same to divide; to separate, if you will, good from evil, good things from the best things and man things from Godly things. It reminds me of a test of sorts - something to make clear where one's loyalty may rest:

Matthew 10:34-39 (Amplified Bible)
Do not think that I have come to bring peace upon the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to part asunder a man from his father, and a daughter from her mother, and a newly married wife from her mother-in-law-And a man's foes will be they of his own household.He who loves [and takes more pleasure in] father or mother more than [in] Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves [and takes more pleasure in] son or daughter more than [in] Me is not worthy of Me; And he who does not take up his cross and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conforming wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying also] is not worthy of Me.
Whoever finds his [lower] life will lose it [the higher life], and whoever loses his [lower] life on My account will find it [the higher life].

Is Jesus enough for you? Do you trust Him enough to run to Him for everything? Will you be or are you loyal to Him alone? To whom do you place your trust, your hope? It is in verse 38 where it really strikes me. "And he who does not take up his cross and follow Me [cleave steadfastly to Me, conforming wholly to My example in living and, if need be, in dying also] is not worthy of Me. To what or whom do I cleave? Is it my spouse, my children, my life, my political affiliation, my church? Do I conform to His example? Do I conform wholly? Is there any part of myself where I place hope in someone or something OTHER than Christ? Examination begins from within but not without the Light of Christ to bring everything out into the open. Lord, Jesus help me!

Now, I do believe we should pray for those in government. Just realize there is a subtlety that exists to place our trust in government, in systems or in man. This flies in the very face of our loyalty to Christ alone. Kingdoms will rise and kingdoms will fall but Jesus Christ and HIS Kingdom will stand forever. I long for purity of heart, purity of Spirit and purity in my obedience to the Master. Only by His grace, His love and mercy can I continue the journey towards being His.

Walking in White...

2009-01-20T07:36:00.007-05:00

Have you ever walked in the snow at night? Or just before dawn? I did just that this morning and it was beautiful! With a dim light coming from the barn roof lamp, the snow sparkled like diamonds around my feet. As I shuffled along in my boots, I kicked up clouds of what seemed to be precious jewel dust and watched it fall silently to the ground to sparkle once more. The silence outdoors just before dawn is welcoming to my ears. It is in these times I can hear the voice of God speak so clearly.

Even yesterday, as I plodded to the barn for early morning chores, the Lord got my attention once again in the snow. It was a continuation of sorts from earlier in the morning as He showed me a bit more about His grace. With each step, God brought to my spirit how we must learn to walk in His grace. It should be effortless and with a quiet confidence in the completeness of His gift in Christ. But we tend to make things far more difficult than they really are, turning our love walk into a man-pleasing arena of works.

I thought about a friend of mine who shared recently how she was struggling in her faith. She has grown tired of the mundane routine of 'church' and longs for intimacy with Jesus. She cannot seem to find the real Jesus in church, only organizational meeting places where her loyalty to the Lord is measured by the amount of service to a ministry. Her words echoed a philosophy of works teaching that has been handed down to her for years, which she took as truth. Only now, she finds an emptiness and lack of depth that is unsettling to her spirit. As she waits on the Lord, she said she thought she was doing everything right: praying, sending offerings to churches she doesn't attend, supporting various local ministries, even giving of her time for some very good causes. As she poured our her heart and frustration, I sensed the Lord prompting me to give her a gentle reminder of the simplicity of the Gospel.

His words were to tell my friend that nothing can ever gained by doing things for the Lord. In fact, when we attempt to gain His favour by performance - even while doing good things - we have failed Christ. The only way we can come to Jesus is with the death of ourselves. There is nothing we can do to earn the favour of God. We cannot gain understanding or acceptance if we are still trying to come to Him in our own ability. While we talked, I shared some words of Oswald Chambers as they came to mind. "Beware of anything that competes with loyalty to Jesus Christ. The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him. It is easier to serve than to be drunk to the dregs. The one aim of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for Him."

Isn't it strange to our earthly ears when we hear the things of God as total opposites of man? I recall hearing a minister once say Christianity was the only 'religion' that says, "in order to really live, you first have to die" That statement has stuck with me a long time. During my snow walk, I was also reminded of a devotional entry in My Utmost for His Highest:

DO YOU WALK IN WHITE? "Buried with Him ... that ... even so we also should walk in newness of life." Romans 6:4. One enters into the experience of entire sanctification without going through a "white funeral" - the burial of the old life. If there has never been this crisis of death, sanctification is nothing more than a vision. There must be a "white funeral," - a death that has only one resurrection - a resurrection into the life of Jesus Christ. Nothing can upset such a life, it is one with God for one purpose, to be a witness to Him.Have you come to your last days really? You have come to them often in sentiment, but have you come to them really? You cannot go to your funeral in excitement, or die in excitement. Death means you stop being. Do you agree with God that you stop being the striving,earnest kind of Christian you have been? We skirt the cemetery and all the time refuse to go to death. It is not striving to go to death, it is dying - "baptized into His death."Have you had your "white funeral," or are you sacredly playing the fool with your soul? Is there a place in your life marked as the last day, a place to which the memory goes back with a chastened and extraordinarily grateful remembrance - "Yes, it was then, at that 'white funeral,' that I made an agreement with God.""This is the will of God, even your sanctification." When you realize what the will of God is, you will enter into sanctification as naturally as can be. Are you willing to go through that "white funeral" now? Do you agree with Him that this is your last day on earth? The moment of agreement depends upon you."

My precious Lord, help me to walk in Your grace and in the new life You have given to me. Continually guide my steps as I walk in Your perfect will for my life. Renew me this day in my pursuit of Your best, of knowing you intimately, personally and eternally. Show me, Lord, the things that distract me from Your presence and from doing Your will. Give me the strength to release those things which delay me from reaching You. Thank you Jesus, for your precious gift of grace! Help me never to take You for granted, lovingly walking in Your ways, Your light and Your will. I want to walk in white, in Your grace and in Your completeness. I love you, Jesus!

Grace like snow...

2009-01-19T07:52:00.014-05:00

This past weekend has brought some of the coldest temperatures I have ever experienced with the thermometer dropping to -10 degrees Friday morning. Saturday morning was no different, in fact a couple of degrees colder and feeling more bitter than the day before. My husband managed to snap a photo from the porch, which reflects -12 degrees or so to document the frigid 'event'. A few of our oldest sheep were shivering in the barn, along with two of my oldest horses. I hustled through the feeding chores both days since my husband was called out to work so often. Cold temps such as these keep the natural gas business employees quite busy. Fortunately, the forecast has allowed for some more moderating weather, although it has brought snow in abundance since Sunday.

It is quite peaceful to be outdoors as the snow falls. Everywhere you look there is a blanket of white. Birds flock to the feeders, hoping for an easy meal of seeds and suet. The sheep are eagerly munching on their hay bales and the turkeys pace atop their shelter roof, seemingly not wanting to get their feet wet. The dogs seem to love the white stuff and long to be outdoors, free to romp and play. Even my old basset hound/house dog, Josey, likes a long walk on days like this.

The newest addition to household is Wally, a collie pup who has been with us about a week now. After 10 years, its seems I have caved into what I call 'puppy fever' much to my family's dismay. I must admit that in those first few days, I questioned my decision frequently (like with each leash-lead potty trip, every 20 minutes). The first night I cried quiet tears of 'what was I thinking' questions and seriously debated calling the breeder to return him. Sleep interruption of the smallest sort frays my nerves rather quickly so I know better than to make 'rash' decisions. Wally is a smart fellow, very loving and affectionate. He is also very much a puppy, requiring constant supervision - something I have grown accustomed to NOT having to do with my ten year old basset hound. I must say he has adapted to our home quickly and learned the ropes of potty training within about 48 hours. He will go to the door and paw at it when he needs outside. You just have to make sure you are in the same room when he does that! Perhaps my family will extend to me the grace and forgiveness I seem to need so often these days. I'm sure there is a lesson to be learned in all of this too and I pray for the understanding to come.

Wally

At least I need not worry about the Grace that comes from my Heavenly Father. Like the snow, it falls effortlessly and rhythmically towards the earth, covering a multitude of surfaces (i.e. self and all that comes with it). You don't have to do anything to be touched my His grace, love and mercy - no trace of human effort amounts to anything eternal. Simply being before Him and allowing the blood of Christ to wash over you is there just for the asking. I need Him so desperately this day! Cover me Lord, in Your mercy. Wash over me and through me. Make me clean and as white as this new fallen snow. Forgive me Lord of all that isn't of You, show me the err of my ways and allow me to turn from sin, always looking to Jesus for strength. I cannot do this on my own and I am so thankful I do not have to trust in my own inability.

The snow continues to fall from the sky, effortlessly and rhythmically, like grace from the heaven's above. May every snowfall remind you of His mercy, His love and His unending gift of grace, through His Son, Jesus Christ!

Pursuing His Highest...

2009-01-02T08:10:00.006-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR and may your love walk with Jesus grow deeper as you follow hard after Him!

I was reading my devotional journal, My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. The first entry for the new year really struck a chord (again) so I wanted to share with others the thoughts and, more appropriately, the challenge of actually living a life of my utmost for His highest. Here is the entry:

January 1, 2009 LET US KEEP TO THE POINT "My eager desire and hope being that I may never feel ashamed, but that now as ever I may do honour to Christ in my own person by fearless courage. "Philippians 1:20 My Utmost for His Highest. "My eager desire and hope being that I may never feel ashamed." We shall all feel very much ashamed if we do not yield to Jesus on the point He has asked us to yield to Him. Paul says - "My determination is to be my utmost for His Highest." To get there is a question of will, not of debate nor of reasoning, but a surrender of will, an absolute and irrevocable surrender on that point. An overweening consideration for ourselves is the thing that keeps us from that decision, though we put it that we are considering others. When we consider what it will cost others if we obey the call of Jesus, we tell God He does not know what our obedience will mean.Keep to the point; He does know. Shut out every other consideration and keep yourself before God for this one thing only - My Utmost for His Highest. I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and for Him alone. My undeterredness for His Holiness. "Whether that means life or death, no matter!" (v.21.) Paul is determined that nothing shall deter him from doing exactly what God wants. God's order has to workup to a crisis in our lives because we will not heed the gentler way. He brings us to the place where He asks us to be our utmost for Him,and we begin to debate; then He produces a providential crisis where we have to decide - for or against, and from that point the "Great Divide" begins. If the crisis has come to you on any line, surrender your will to Him absolutely and irrevocably.

I've never been the type of person who makes the proverbial "New Year's Resolutions". To me, they are simply empty promises we make either to ourselves or to others that we alone cannot keep. We tend to pursue these promises in our own feeble ability so, is it any wonder that we fail? We end up frustrated over falling short in our attempts to make good on promises to do better or be better and our flesh just will not allow it. It is imperative to allow Jesus to shape our every thought, action, reaction, plan and pursuit. When we do not, we are positioned to fail every time. Leaning on His word, His ability and trusting Him to bring His will to pass within our lives is the only way to true, everlasting victory.

Surrender of will is the utmost challenge of the flesh but it must be done in order to be His disciple. We cannot walk our own way and His as well. The Bible tells us we cannot serve two masters for we will love one and hate the other. This is true for pursuing our own plans verses those of the Lord. We will come to love one and despise the other. Sadly, we often covet our own life more so than the will of the Father. And scripture also reminds is that if we try to save our life here on earth, we will lose our eternal one. I can think of no better realization than that - choosing eternal life with Christ or keeping this temporal one, that is but a vapor.

Oh, help me Jesus to remain in hot pursuit of You. Help me to keep my eyes on the prize! Keep me undeterred in my love walk with You, Lord! Help me surrender my will daily to be my utmost for Your highest, to pursue Your will and not my own. Thank you, Lord, for being so patient with me and so faithful with Your forgiveness, mercy and grace. I love you, Jesus!

Simple Songs...

2008-12-29T09:56:00.008-05:00

On Sunday, I went to see my mother-in-law at the assisted living facility. She had fallen the day before and was more of bruised feelings than of body (thankfully). When we saw her Christmas day, she wondered if I was going to play my guitar. At the last minute before leaving the house, I decided against it, thinking she would be more interested in her gift opening than me sputtering through some old hymns. Well, I was dead-wrong about that one! The first thing she asked me was, "Where's the guitar?" I had to laugh! I promised the next time I came over, I would bring it and play.

Now I must confess to you that learning these old hymns has not been of my choosing. Personally, I lean towards a more contemporary style of music when I'm listening. Lately, however, The Lord has really been working on my heart about "message". Do the songs I listen to point to Jesus or are they more of an entertainment to the ears? More often than not, it is the latter. :( I discovered recently that another description for the word "message" is "the messenger's mission". And I thought, WOW, that is really cool. Music always has a mission, whether we realize it (or want to admit it) or not.

So I began examining the content of the songs I listen to and found out a lot of popular Christian tunes talk more about how Jesus makes us feel rather than simply point to Christ Himself. I would not say God doesn't work through these songs but that He does stand alone quite well without needing our feelings to somehow justify the goodness of who He is. Doesn't scripture tell us through Jesus' own words "And, I, if I be lifted up, I will draw all men unto myself." John 12:32? Kind of makes sense that when we point ourselves and others towards Jesus, He takes care of the rest. We don't have to do anything or help God out along the way.

OK, now enter the hymns...so here I am practicing these old songs, sounding quite bluegrassy I must say but geez, it just kinda comes out that way so I'm going along with the flow. I get on Rockin' with the Cross and start looking up chords that I can play and sing in. Amazingly, I find a bunch of these classics: Amazing Grace, Just as I am, Have Thine Own Way, Lord, I Surrender All and so on. I can transpose them with a mouse click (thank you, technology) into a key I can play decently and off to practice I go. Just reading the words to these songs, blesses my soul. In a flash, I am transported back in time to my days growing up the Baptist churches where they played these old hymns. God refreshes my spirit with the simplicity of Himself and I must wonder why folks have tried so hard to make Him complicated.

When I decided I needed to take these songs over to the nursing home, God was the one who reminded me about taking 'the church' to those in need. Let others see Jesus in you (another hymn but I can't play it yet) is the heart of what Christians are supposed to being, right? It wasn't going to be anything I would do myself but, if I allowed Him, God Himself would work through me in ministering to these folks. And skipping my usual church service to do this was honestly what I sensed that I needed to do.

When I arrived, my mother-in-law was in the hallway with two of her friends and they were solving all the worlds problems. I didn't mean to interrupt their important task but none of them seemed to mind once they realized I had my guitar to play for them. I played songs until my fingers felt like they were going to fall off! In fact, I played every song I had at least once and some of them twice. Two folks had 'requests' but I didn't know how to play "Onward Christian Soldiers" or "If I could only hear my mother pray again". I vowed I would learn these and would attempt to play them the next trip.

After we went through the songs once, I asked each person if they had a song they liked to sing. It brought tears to my eyes when Judy wanted me to play "Jesus Loves Me". I had not put that song in the first round. My thought had been it would be too childish for them to want to sing. Fortunately, this was one of the first songs my guitar instructor had me to learn and I did have the music with me. It was a grand chorus of the folks there and myself singing our hearts out to Jesus Loves Me! We sang all of the verses I had in my music and sang the first verse a couple more times. There was such a heart-felt simplicity in their song to the Lord! It was with some correction I received from the Lord how I was not to regard any song as childish, for He can work through anything and everything. I saw first-hand God working in this precious group of people. His word also came to me:

For an answer Jesus called over a child, whom he stood in the middle of the room, and said, "I'm telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's kingdom. What's more, when you receive the childlike on my account, it's the same as receiving me. Matthew 18:3 (The Message)

Jesus said, "Let the children come to me, and don't try to stop them! People who are like these children belong to God's kingdom." Matthew 19:14 (Contemporary English Version)

As I drove home, I thought about how much joy was revealed in their faces as they sang that song and how precious indeed those saints are to the Lord. Jesus' message of love, grace and mercy is so simple. My prayer today is that our hearts be made simple again, that we look to Him alone for answers and we learn to trust in Him rather than in ourselves. Oh Jesus, forgive us for being arrogant and proud, for thinking the modern ways or better than Your own; help us when we fail You, that we realize our desperate need for You - not just for salvation but for living the life You have given to us in following hard after You.

JESUS LOVES ME THIS I KNOW, FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.

LITTLE ONES TO HIM BELONG, THEY ARE WEAK BUT HE IS STRONG.

YES, JESUS LOVES ME. YES, JESUS LOVES ME.

YES, JESUS LOVES ME, THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO.

A Minor Chord...

2008-12-22T08:12:00.003-05:00

In music theory, a minor chord is a chord having a root, a minor third and a perfect fifth. When a chord has these three notes alone, it is called a minor triad. In learning to play the acoustic guitar, I have come to love the minor chords. Over the past 5-6 weeks, God has so blessed me with learning this instrument and I pray my humble attempt to learn can, in some way, bring Him honor and glory. The callouses on my first three fingers have been quietly developing, which allows me to play longer! I so enjoy the learning process as well as the discovery of new things I never knew existed within me.

This love of the minor chords has me transposing what few songs I can play into different keys, just to get some of those minor notes. Three personal favorites thus far are Am, Dm and Em (A, D and E minor) with Em being the easiest to play. In learning some Christmas songs, I have found the tune, "O Holy Night" has A and E minor (along with B minor) when it is played in the key of G. I struggle about with my finger placement for that dreaded B minor. Fortunately, I learned a 3 finger version and playing the 1st four strings works, its just not as strong in sound as the traditional 4 finger version. I'm still learning but getting my fingers to stretch that way has proved challenging to say the least.

I don't know exactly what it is about these minor triads that has me so enthralled, perhaps it is just a different sound which I find quite soothing. Or maybe the tone itself is rather underpowering than overpowering. Is underpowering a real word? The major chords are great and all - strong, vibrant and full of sound; sometimes loud too. But I personally identify with the minor chords, one's that are a little more laid back, less showy but clearly effective. I looked up the word "showy" in Webster's Dictionary, which was pretty awesome reading. Perhaps the word I was looking for describing the major chords was pretentious, which (according to Webster's) implies "an appearance of importance not justified by the thing's value or the person's standing". Oh, how I do NOT want to be pretentious (or showy, ostentatious, etc.). OK, so I'm weird in identifying with the minor chords more so than the major ones - go talk to God about that, He created me! :)

As I was pondering the majors and minors, I couldn't help but see how we each are like a note on The Master's Instrument. He is the one who gently reproduces Himself in us, His sound is the footprint in our lives. When we walk with Him, in His song, it is a joyous melody to His ears. But when we venture off on our own, in our own ability, desire and effort, we find ourselves quite out of tune with the Father. Sometimes everyone else around us 'hears' it before we do. When a guitar gets out of tune, you have to turn the keys on the neck to bring it back into harmony with the rest of the instrument. Any single string on a guitar lies across the body and neck of the instrument, parallel with the other strings. Some strings are thicker than others but they are all level with one another and they are all traveling in the same direction. Tuning a string requires it to be stretched - sounds like the pains of maturity in our walk with the Lord. Once in tune, the song begins again...

Every aspect of my love walk with Jesus teaches me something. From the adventures in shepherding to learning this guitar thing, it all points to Him. I am in awe of just how totally ALL things do work together for those that love the Lord. This scripture comes to my mind frequently these days:

Romans 8:27-29 (Contemporary English Version)
All of our thoughts are known to God. He can understand what is in the mind of the Spirit, as the Spirit prays for God's people. We know that God is always at work for the good of everyone who loves Him. They are the ones God has chosen for His purpose, and He has always known who His chosen ones would be. He had decided to let them become like His own Son, so that His Son would be the first of many children.

Thank you, Lord, for your patience with me. In all of my ups and downs, with my being in tune with you and especially for those times when I am not. Thank you for choosing me as your own and for waiting for patiently for me when I run from Your purpose and plan. Keep me, Lord, close to Your heart and replace my own heart with Yours. You alone are worthy of Praise, of Honor and Glory!

JESUS, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!

Samples...

2008-12-19T08:07:00.007-05:00

Have you ever been in the grocery store when they have vendors passing out samples of a new product? Maybe you were at the mall, outside Chick-Fill-A obtaining a small piece of a tasty nugget or at the deli when they give away free tidbits of cheese? If you were to try hard enough, you could eat a small meal for nothing but once you get home, you are starving! I must ask just how fresh are those samples? Some of them must have been sitting there all day, occasionally re-stocked for appearance sake. Is there someone who monitors that?

A sample is gives you a small taste of something much larger and much better than anything you have had before. As I look into my own life, I'm ashamed of how satisfied I have been in the past with merely getting samples of the vast table that God has prepared before me. Yes everything does indeed relate to Him and I'm thankful He has brought to mind the small things I never really noticed or just didn't pay much attention before.

I have become increasingly aware of how traditional church methodology is much like the sample counter. There is the offer to taste the 'good life' but you can only have it small pieces (i.e. weekly services). Oh, you can have the whole thing but you have to do something for, you have buy it, earn it or do some other performance-oriented thing. This is what gets you to come back week after week but, as time passes, you begin to starve on those tiny tidbits and, all the while, your desire for more grows day by day. I don't think that is actually what God had in mind for personal relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ. It is sad to me to see the number of ways our sample mentality has trickled down into every aspect of what we call Christianity and church. The entire outline of a Sunday morning is full of samples:15-30 minutes of worship, 5-10 minutes of announcements, prayer requests, etc., 5 minutes for tithes and offerings then 30-45+ minutes for a sermon. It seems like a 'take fest', a time where we go to get something from the Lord, rather than to give ourselves to Him.

My biggest aggravation, however, must be with Communion. First of all, I must point out I treasure the gift of being able to partake of Communion. It is not something I take lightly but I do have questions as to our methods with the elements. I wonder why we have these little tiny pieces of bread (or wafer), cut into small, even squares and why we drink grape juice from those little plastic cups. Everything is exactly the same, all of it measured out carefully and neatly. That seems so far from how each individual relates to Christ in his/her own life where nothing is the same. Our methods seem to be only for neatness and convenience, rather than for personal intimacy.

When I read the scriptures about the Last Supper, I see huge differences between that Communion and our own. Jesus broke the bread and, unless I am mistaken, the disciples shared the same cup of wine that Jesus drank from that night. I'm not being petty about the modern 'elements' and I'm not insisting someone bake bread every week for the 'special' services. Instead, my point would be to call attention to the way we tend to partake of Communion. Again, going back to the scriptures, Acts tells us the disciples gathered together daily and broke bread. It kind of shows us a new picture of the New Testament church was indeed nothing like the model of church we see today. Personally, I view this is a reminder to constantly examine our hearts before the Lord and is another example of learning to 'die' daily. Oh Lord, help us!

Jesus' body was torn violently and blood poured from His side - there was nothing neat or measured about His death. For some, perhaps the square wafers are enough and a little splash of grape juice is fine. But for me, I am tired of the samples being measured out for me and I am no longer content with scraps from the Master's table. Part of the freedom we now have in Christ is the freedom to be partakers with Him, of His will and His divine plan. I want ALL of Jesus, I NEED all of Jesus! So give me the whole loaf of bread and the whole bottle of wine, for I am desperate for the wholeness I can only find in Him!

Consumption - a dead-end road

2008-12-16T09:16:00.004-05:00

For several months now, I have been troubled by the myth of "church" as we in the Western hemisphere have come to know it. Looking back into history, the New Testament Church was so unlike the misrepresentations our buildings often hold. The New Testament Church was truly alive - a moving, growing, living, breathing surrendered Body of believers who held on to one centralized focus: Jesus Christ. They walked in the knowing truth that Jesus was absolute Truth, therefore was also absolute in everything. His Lordship over them was a confession that would bring torture and even death, yet they held fast to their faith and trust in the One who sits at the right hand of the Father, the One who has been given all and it is placed under His feet.

My thoughts lately have focused on a couple of things, the first being total, all out surrender and the second being the Will of the Father. Even when those words form on my lips, my heart leaps, my spirit soars and all of my being screams, "Yes, Lord Jesus!" And more so I have become more painfully aware of the many parts of my life that are not yet surrendered (fully) to the will of the Father. Oh, Jesus, forgive me! It is only by His marvelous Grace that I can come before Him, humbly aware of my flesh that seemingly resurrects itself overnight. I am beginning to understand more fully Paul's confession of "...I die daily..." It has become more apparent to me of my desperate need for all of Jesus, in everything, all the time and how utterly helpless I am to accomplish anything outside of His Grace. I shared a bit of this with some friends as we gathered over the weekend, feeling a bit overwhelmed and even angry at my own ineptness while, at the same time, so aware of the desperation I have to know Christ intimately. It was like God was showing me once again how much of my life I still call my own without even realizing it. He is so patient with me - thank you, Jesus!

It seems to me that the modern church of today is fashioned a lot like the hierarchy of the priesthood back in Jesus' day. Our leadership roles and titles are not much different than they were back then really. In fact, we possibly make things worse by placing a "Jesus tag' on our methods, our programs and our agendas by labeling them with God. When you look at scripture, at the Cross and Jesus' completion of the Father's Will there, Matthew 27:51 tells us the veil (or curtain) was split in two, from top to bottom. This curtain was what separated the sanctuary, the place where commoners could enter, from the Holy of Holies, a place where only the priesthood would dare trod. In fact, no one even wanted to go there and the priests access was usually limited to once a year. Jesus' shattered the very need for the separation and gave to each of us free access to the Father!

So, I must ask you, why are we content with 'church' as usual where one person is placed up front, at a pulpit or other place of importance, where they spoon feed sermons to their congregations? Have we become so lazy that we do not wish to put forth the effort and sacrifice to enter into divine relationship with Jesus Christ ourselves, instead opting to have someone else do it for us? Every part of a traditional church service seems to be carefully orchestrated to cater to the our fleshly, consuming nature. Our words are filled with sayings such as "coming to church to get fed", yet I cannot find ANY scripture that supports this mentality. We have created this insatiable monster who must be fed, over and over again, forcing dependency of remaining a babe yet all the while we wonder why people never seem to 'grow up' in Christ.

The Great Commission in the New Testament (see Matthew 28:18-21) is our example of what the Body of Christ should be. Not only does Jesus tell us to "Go into all the world..." He specifically tells us to "make disciples of the nations". This is the key area where most mainline churches have failed - they have failed to mentor new believer's in discipleship training. Being a disciple is to become like Christ, fulfilling the claim of being a Christian is to be a "little Christ". We are so bent on spoon feeding the Bible to folks, who willingly eat and eat and eat. The trouble is no one is getting up from the Table! In his book, The Forgotten Ways, Alan Hirsh said, "We cannot consume our way into discipleship." When I read this, I dawned on me that we have opted to consume (or devour) the things of God rather than to simply be filled by them. When you consume something, you do it merely for the sake of yourself. It's honestly a rather selfish act because the concern is only for yourself and what you can get out it. Being filled, however, denotes a place of surrender, a place of willingly being emptied of yourself so that God can fill you with Himself. The difference is a heart condition, one of truly wanting Jesus simply for who He is and nothing else. Oh how I want to know Jesus, to love Him unconditionally simply because He loved me; He knows me yet loves me anyway!

Oh, how I love Jesus

Because He first loved me.

Repentance...

2008-12-08T09:13:00.005-05:00

As I was reading the other morning, I came across this daily devotional excerpt from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. This little book has become a favorite reading of mine, especially during the weekly laundry mat trips over the summer. We began to conserve water during some drought conditions by taking laundry to town to wash. And its such an interesting place to go, I've kind of continued going for big things like blankets, comforters, etc.

Here goes the reading for Dec. 7th:

"REPENTANCE For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation. 2 Corinthians 7:10 Conviction of sin is best portrayed in the words -"My sins, my sins, my Saviour,How sad on Thee they fall."Conviction of sin is one of the rarest things that ever strikes a man. It is the threshold of an understanding of God. Jesus Christ said that when the Holy Spirit came He would convict of sin, and when the Holy Spirit rouses a man's conscience and brings him into the presence of God, it is not his relationship with men that bothers him, but his relationship with God - "against Thee, Thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Thy sight." The marvels of conviction of sin, forgiveness, and holiness are so interwoven that it is only the forgiven man who is the holy man, he proves he is forgiven by being the opposite to what he was, by God's grace. Repentance always brings a man to this point: I have sinned. The surest sign that God is at work is when a man says that and means it. Anything less than this is remorse for having made blunders, the reflex action of disgust at himself.The entrance into the Kingdom is through the panging pains of repentance crashing into a man's respectable goodness; then the Holy Ghost, Who produces these agonies, begins the formation of the Son of God in the life. The new life will manifest itself in conscious repentance and unconscious holiness, never the other way about. The bedrock of Christianity is repentance. Strictly speaking, a man cannot repent when he chooses; repentance is a gift of God. The old Puritans used to pray for "the gift of tears." If ever you cease to know the virtue of repentance, you are in darkness. Examine yourself and see if you have forgotten how to be sorry."

I was so taken aback from this writing that day. My heart was quickened and I felt that all too familiar 'check' in my spirit, knowing this was written for me to 'chew on'. That last line that urges us to "examine yourself and see if you have forgotten how to be sorry' just hit a strong chord inside of me. How subtle is the err of our ways to become insensitive to the conviction the Holy Spirit may bring! It's almost unnoticeable some times, isn't it? Perhaps you haven't been in that place but I have and I don't want to remain there. I don't want my heart to become hardened at any time. For if it becomes protected in any area, then my Lord is effectually placed on the outside as well. I want to sense His presence and to walk in His light always. I cannot do that without repentance.

Next time God prompts that little 'check' in your spirit, immediately heed His call. Pray for that 'gift of tears' and accept repentance as His gift.

Dear Jesus...please forgive me for the times I have failed you and gone about in my own way. Bring me to place of repentance before You, where You not only forgive but also purge me from all unrighteousness as Your Word says You will do. I need your forgiveness but am even more desperate to have what is unrighteous within me removed all together. Help me, Lord! I am nothing on my own but everything can be accomplished within You!

Random thoughts....

2008-11-11T07:14:00.003-05:00

I was traveling yesterday, thinking about all the election debate and discussion when this reminder came to mind. Remember all through out the Bible, where Israel demanded a king? They cried out to God over and over, for years and years, for a 'man' to rule over them. This really was not God's plan or His original intention-HE wanted that place, for His beloved people to worship HIM as their king. Israel wanted an earthly king, one they could see, hear and touch in their physical bodies. They did not seem to be satisfied with having God as their ultimate King. So what did God do? He gave them what they wanted.

Over and over again throughout history, you see the children of God forsaking their Heavenly Father for a substitute. Jesus Christ destroyed the very heredity of sin and freed us from needing any king other than Himself, the King of Kings! But yet, we insisted upon going back to our fleshly natures all the time, wanting that earthly king to somehow make things better for us all, to bring peace to the world, calm to the economic woes and so on. While I realize our current system of 'government' does set specific places for leadership, I also know there is a vast difference between real leadership and rulers of this age. So many people want a ruler, because it tends to remove one's personal responsibility and paves the way to lay blame on someone other than who it really lies with (ourselves).

The real problem with politics is that they are purely man-centered, focused on man's ability, man's policies and man's promises. How many candidates on ANY side were bringing the promise of doing God's will and purpose instead of promoting his/her own agenda's? Um...that would be a zero and we once again become satisfied with having an earthly king. Unfortunately, God may just give us what we want and turn us over to our own desires - Lord help us!

There is this battle that rages on between good and evil. It has been going on for centuries and is seemingly more apparent in these days we live. I'm sorry to say that there will be no peace, no real change and no calm in the financial markets - none that is lasting anyway. If you read the Word of God, you must know this.You must be aware of the increasing amounts of turmoil that will continue to come to this earthly realm. Every worldly leader will fail to bring us the things we desire, because they can only bring fleshly satisfaction which is temporary. And that satisfaction is NOT where we are to place our trust anyway. As Christians, I think we all can agree that Jesus Christ is really our own real answer. It is only in Him that we can find true and lastly peace.

The scriptures are full of examples of how people demanded their own way and God did give them over to the desires of their flesh and their mind. As history itself has dictated and as the Word of God is written, people will once again forsake the One True King for an earthly substitute. And he will come. Unfortunately, this anti-Christ will deceive many with his words and deeds. People across the USA and across the world are looking for that earthly king, a substitute ruler to give them the answers they want, the peace they desire and calm to the financial woes that are growing by leaps and bounds.The world stage is set for this and the Word of God tells us this will happen. When? I do not know. I am, however, certain of this: Jesus Christ is the One True Lord and Saviour. He is the King of Kings and there is no substitute.

We have been charged by God to be diligent, to watch and to keep ourselves ready for His return always. But also know, that He will not return for a Bride that is so full of sin. There is little difference today between the church and the world.I believe that repentance is the only way to bring the Church back to a place of holiness, a place of purity and a place of self sacrifice, where own ways are to be laid upon the altar. The humble heart of a servant in love must return to the Body of Christ and His perfect love must consume us.If we can grasp that one thing - love as Jesus loved, unconditionally and without boundaries - then we will be that lovely, spotless Bride He so desires. To me, everything else is simple distraction.

When we grow frustrated with how blind people seem, it really should come as no surprise to us. Every part of the Bible tells us this will happen. Throughout the New Testament we are forewarned of how the love of many will grow cold. It is painful to think of folks we love, family or friends, who may be one of those who refuse to finish strong in the Lord. They tire of the journey because it is indeed difficult and one of complete sacrifice to self. This too, Jesus told us would happen. Only His perfect love can break the chains and set people free. His love is indeed patient and kind, so much more than I can imagine! I am overwhelmed by His grace and His mercy and humbled of how fragile this earthly life is. I believe it is the book of James where we are told that "life is but a vapor".

God's ways look nothing like the ways of the world-never have and never will. Remember the book of Isaiah? Where we learn that His ways are higher than our ways, His thoughts higher than our thoughts. We must remember that God will have His way and it will not look anything like what the world expects or wants. We must abandon our human reasoning and expectations of God to act like us. We were created in HIS image, it is not the other way around. His infinite wisdom is so vast and so amazing, I do not believe this feeble mind can really grasp the depths of His awesomeness.

My prayer is His great love consume us all. Set your mind upon Christ, place your eyes on Him alone and let everything else will fade away. Like that wonderful hymn...

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look full in His wonderful face

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim

In the Light of His Glory and Grace.

For me, I will look daily to My Savior and King, Jesus Christ. If I lose my earthly life because of Him, then I have gained. Just like Paul said "For me to live is Christ, to die is gain." The distractions of this age are many, often disguising themselves as 'good' things. Be alert and forever diligent in guarding your heart. Soak yourself in His Word, let is resonate within every part of your being. Throw yourself on the altar of Grace and allow His fire to purify your heart. May His mercy allow us to walk upright in His righteousness and in Him alone.

Nothing but the Cross....

2008-10-24T10:39:00.008-04:00

I was playing my guitar the other morning and have had this one song in my spirit for some time now. The notes are easy for me to remember on the bass but learning the chords on an acoustic guitar is quite new to me. I can hardly wait for lessons to begin next week! :) For now, I pick a lot!

Savior, I come. Quiet my soul, remember.

Redemption Hill, where your blood was spilled for my ransom.

Everything I once held dear, I count it all as loss.

Lead me to the Cross, where your love poured out.

Bring me to my knees, Lord, I lay me down.

Rid me of myself, I belong to You.

Oh lead me, lead me to the Cross.

You were as I, tempted and tried. Human.

Word became flesh, bore my sin in death.

Now You're risen!

Everything I once held dear, I count it all as loss.

Lead me to the Cross, where Your love poured out.

Bring me to my knees, Lord I may me down.

Rid me of myself, I belong to You.

Oh lead me, lead me to the Cross.

Everything I once held dear...wow, that is kind of like a LOT of stuff and, when comparing it to the saving grace of Christ, it is nothing. When looking at things I think are important but putting through God's filter, The Bible, I find there is plenty of junk in my life - still some flesh hanging around, needing crucified. Oh Jesus, help me!

In Philippians 7-9 (Contemporary English Version), Paul writes "But Christ has shown me that what I once thought was valuable is worthless. Nothing is as wonderful as knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have given up everything else and count it all as garbage. All I want is Christ and to know that I belong to him. I could not make myself acceptable to God by obeying the Law of Moses. God accepted me simply because of my faith in Christ."

Oh how my heart desires to allow Him to examine me! My prayer today is Psalm 139:23-24 "Look deep into my heart, God, and find out everything I am thinking. Don't let me follow evil ways, but lead me in the way that time has proven true." (CEV). Yes, Lord, examine me and root out everything not of You. If You must remove my heart, so be it. Purify my motives, my thoughts, my actions and test them with Your refining fire. Burn away every impurity and let only the truth, Your truth, remain. May I keep watch over my mouth in my opinions but allow me to freely declare Your righteousness!

Only Jesus, Nothing but the Cross...Galations 6:14-16 has been on my heart. The Message reads, "For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can't you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life! All who walk by this standard are the true Israel of God—his chosen people. Peace and mercy on them!" Freedom, Lord, let Your freedom reign!

Once again everything I once held dear, I count is all as loss...Philippians 3:7-9 "The very credentials these people are waving around as something special, I'm tearing up and throwing out with the trash—along with everything else I used to take credit for. And why? Because of Christ. Yes, all the things I once thought were so important are gone from my life. Compared to the high privilege of knowing Christ Jesus as my Master, firsthand, everything I once thought I had going for me is insignificant—dog dung. I've dumped it all in the trash so that I could embrace Christ and be embraced by him. I didn't want some petty, inferior brand of righteousness that comes from keeping a list of rules when I could get the robust kind that comes from trusting Christ—God's righteousness." (The Message)

The chorus to an old hymn comes to mind as I close..."On Christ the Solid Rock, I stand. All other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand." Lord Jesus, I pray you give me the grace to stand on You, and nothing less. Nothing man-made, no substitutions - just You, Jesus. You alone are my sustenance, my every need, my only hope! Cleanse this heart, Oh God, and make me anew this day. I seek Your Will and Your ways, not my own. Help me to be sensitive to only You through Your precious Holy Spirit. Let me not boast in anything but the Cross! For there alone the world has been crucified to me and I to the world. Thank you for setting me free.

I love you, Jesus!

I see the truth...

2008-10-07T08:16:00.006-04:00

Truth..something I believe we all are searching for. Deep within us, we desire to know what is real, what is truth - not man's made up agenda of what he/she thinks is best, but instead the real, honest, deep truth. Lately, life has been quite a blur of sorts and I have had great difficulty concentrating on 'that one thing'. This morning, I was listening to some Upton tunes and decided to change the visualizations feature in my media player. As I searched the many options, I discovered an intriguing one titled "I see the truth". Once I selected this, I was awed by the circles whirling in the same, then opposite directions, changing colors, spinning a different speeds. But that one thing that was central was the center circle - it never changed. All things moved around this mesmerizing circle.

And then God spoke His word...."AND WE KNOW THAT ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THOSE WHO LOVE GOD, TO THOSE WHO ARE THE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE." ROMAN 8:28. Now more than ever, this is reflected to me. Everything, if you can somehow fathom the depths of that, ALL THINGS are working together. Nothing is exempt and His truth will ring forth!
Jesus Christ is truth. The entire universe revolves around God the Father. It always has been that way and always will be. Even the software dudes at Microsoft stumbled across this when creating that visualization! Everything circles around Him, all things working towards His divine purpose and calling.

So, why do our hearts seem to think that isn't quite enough? Like it has to be more complicated than that? It truly is simple, the Gospel of Jesus Christ is simple truth. The world would have you believe it can't be that easy and still be real. So why do our hearts spout thoughts of confusion? The Bible clearly tells us something about the heart (our fleshly wisdom):

"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out.

But, I God, search the heart and examine the mind.

I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things.

I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be."

Jeremiah 17:9-10 (The Message Remix)

As per a dear brother in Christ once said, "Feelings are fickle and untrustworthy." Thanks, Joe, for that mighty revelation! Feelings and circumstances can cause us to lose focus, to become overwhelmed by the things going on around us. Distractions will always be present. In these last days, I see there is one powerful yet subtle tool of the enemy being to simply distract Believer's from 'that one thing', which is pursuing intimacy Jesus Christ. If he can just get them caught up in the cares of this world, he will have them for quite some time. Hebrews tells us to "...lay aside every weight and sin which so easily ensnares us...". Paul was on to something when he penned the "easily" term used by the enemy to describe the tactics as they are.

Words in scripture that shout things like, "WAKE UP!" or "having eyes to see and ears to hear" are everywhere, yet many still sleep. Slumber..."to be dormant, inactive or negligent". Our hearts can grow cold towards the Lord if we aren't diligent to remain in His presence, learning His word and seeking His face, His will always. Not doing anything is a very powerful, negative state of existence. It makes you quite vulnerable to the plans of the enemy, who is always "roaming about like lion, seeking whom he might devour." Complacency breeds apathy (thanks Gary D.), again another dangerous place to remain.

Truth..."reality; actual existence". I see the truth, whirling about violently at times, yet all the while drawn and encircling that One True Center, which is God Himself. Are you focused on Him, really seeking His face? Are you trusting Him recklessly abandoning any ounce of self worth and self reliance. Independence is nothing more that the reliance on one's own ability or judgement. Sounds like "old man", doesn't it? We couldn't become righteous in our own ability by The Law so why should we keep resurrecting a life that has already been crucified? You are a NEW creation in Christ!

Trust Jesus, depend on Him, lean heavily on Him, endure in Him, remain in Him, abide (wait) in Him. And as you rest in Him, His truth is revealed.

I smell like a sheep...

2008-09-30T10:05:00.008-04:00

Now, personally I like the smell of sheep. Shepherding a flock of sheep will do that, you know! Anyone who has sheep knows exactly what I am talking about - that whiff of barn, hay, grain, lanolin, dirt, pee and poop all rolled up into a unique "sheepy odor". For me, it is a comforting smell. If you spend time at all with sheep, you get to know them, their personalities, their likes and dislikes, their bad habits and, of course, their name. At the farm these days, we are preparing for a limited breeding season, Lord willing, and have been doing hands-on moving of the flock into their respective groups. So, I smell like sheep and I am OK with that.

The other day, I read a blog note where someone described their Pastor as 'smelling like sheep' and I thought "how cool" to receive that kind of assessment. So why do most folks run from that description? I can only surmise that smelling like sheep means you have to spend more than 5 minutes with someone, get to know them and their personalities, know what they like & dislike, to see some bad habits all the while still loving them anyway. Hmm...sounds a lot like God, doesn't it? :)

This knowing someone also implies a level of sameness, something many people don't like either. God's grace really has put us all on the same playing field, no one person being above another. To have that kind of exaltation, merely resurrects the hierarchy that Christ died to destroy, complete with all its bondage, chains and death. All throughout the New Testament, I read about how we are lift up one another, encourage one another, bear one another's burdens. Whatever they go through, we go through it with them - they smell alike - hence the true meaning of "forsaking not the assembly of ourselves" is revealed. Encouragement abounds when real relationship is present.

Days recently have been those of frustration...not sure exactly why but perhaps just a sense of coming change. I have been really frustrated at church for several months and seemingly unable to 'see' a bigger picture, although still praying God will be allowed out of the charismatic box we have placed Him in and for no other reason aside from loving Him, giving Him honor He alone is due, glory and praise. I am tired of controlled atmospheres, timed worship and politically centered messages. It seems almost suffocating at times just to be "in church". I am growing more convinced every day that the Body of Christ is not contained to four walls and perhaps those who think otherwise are just too comfortable in the man-pleasing arena of self-promotion and BigMe.littleyou thinking.

I long for the days of a cutting word, spoken with a humble heart of knowing what its like to have 'been there'. Too many times of late, there are more references to what "i" have done than to Jesus (and that "i" is lower case for a reason). After all, Christ has already done all that needs doing, right? Wasn't HE the one who said, "It is finished."?? Why does man insist on calling attention to their famous works of the hour rather than the only lasting work, which was completed on Calvary by Jesus Christ? Oh, God... help me keep a tender heart towards You and towards others...help me to see myself and others as You do, through Your eyes.

There is a precious woman in church who always tells me how she is praying for my husband. I don't doubt that she is praying and, bless her heart, she told me the other day how she was praying for my husband to get in church. So, I'm trying to smile and thank her, all the while wondering why people think being in church is somehow that is going to solve everything? The way things stand right now, I hesitate to invite anyone to church and that, in itself isn't right either. I guess I'm afraid the Holy Spirit won't be allowed in or perhaps the feeling I need to apologize for how loud the music is or how hyped everything tends to get. Oh, Lord please help me!

I really believe the call from Jesus for us to really KNOW Him goes much deeper than we may have ever imagined. How can we know someone without spending time with them? The Word (the Bible) is becoming more and more precious to me, its the life blood I need for sustaining me during these times. I want to know Jesus, I mean really know Him, and He is right there always. I am so relieved that He knows me intimately and loves me anyway! So often, I fall short of spending time with Jesus and He is always waiting for me when I do. Thank you, Lord, for being so faithful!

Teach me your ways, Oh God...

Sustenance...mine or His?

2008-08-22T09:01:00.005-04:00

I read a comment this morning on a blog about feeling the "pride of being self-sustainable". These words sparked my curiosity almost instantly and I felt the urge to 'Google' it. One of the 'sponsored' links that came up mentioned earning a college degree in self-sustainability. Hmm...interesting indeed so I clicked the link which took me to the college website. The first article was regarding all students need for transcendental meditation. Who needs that ?!? Self-sustaining is the ability of supporting oneself, as defined by Webster's. Even the word "self" solely concentrates on "one's own interest." It wasn't long after I read these things that I began to see the connection between self-sustainability and pride.

Now I am certain the writer who left the comment certainly did not intend to condone pride but it left me pondering how casually I use words at times as well as how easily it is to step into 'self'. Pride is not one of the traits I wish to attain in this world. The Bible warns repeatedly about the sin called pride. Proverbs tells us that, "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly than to divide the spoil with the proud." Proverbs 16:18-19 (NKJV) Haughty...now there's another word for you! Basically, it means you have an ego problem. I love the way The Message Bible puts the same verses: "First pride, then the crash - the bigger the ego, the harder the fall. It's better to live humbly among the poor than to live it up among the rich and famous."

Various verses within the scriptures talk about pride, or being puffed up. It either comes as a warning of what not to do or it tells of consequences that happen to those who succumb to it. When I read the words "the pride of being self-sustainable", I had not seen things in this light. What I am talking here about is this independent spirit that takes God out of the details and keeps Him at arm's length. Most folks are happy to place a God tag on just about anything these days. You cannot operate independently from God and with God at the same time. The Bible calls this trying to serve two masters and, in the end, you will love one and despise the other.

I have settled in my heart that being self-sustainable isn't all that attractive. If I am dependent on my own accomplishments, abilities and plans then I have left God completely out of the picture. It is such a subtle thing to begin a task out of your skills, even in those talents that are God given. Perhaps this is yet another example of what the motivation within our hearts is in the first place. Is it an attitude of, "Hey, look at me and what I can do" or is it one of "Hey, look at what God has done"? I find myself casually looking at something I have 'done' when actually I have merely been the instrument God worked through at a given time. Keeping that tenderness of heart towards the Lord is imperative. It is so easy to get puffed up when something we have shared in succeeds. The Bible tells us that no man (or woman) will glory in God's presence and that God will share His Glory with no man (or woman). Let our mouths give glory to Him alone in everything. It is His grace that enables us function in this world and our steps, actions and reactions should give Him glory, not pat ourselves on the back.

As I look at our farm, our flock and our garden this year, I truly am humbled by it all. We have been blessed with sheep sales, a good hay crop and an overflowing pantry. God alone deserves the praise for everything we have been entrusted with. You see, I don't really 'have' anything, I don't own it. It belongs to the Lord. He has entrusted many things to me and I pray daily for His grace, wisdom and favor as I perform the duties of shepherdess, gardener, farmer and wife. Walking in my own strength brings instant death to the Life He has provided. Walking in Him, through Him, beside Him, behind Him, literally IN Him is the only way I can truly live as He has ordained. Everything must be "All for Jesus"!

A Shepherd's Moment...

2008-08-15T12:10:00.009-04:00

After we returned home the wedding, we discovered many garden chores awaited us. Quarts of beans and pints of apple sauce are now lining the pantry shelves and more abounds for us to do. It is easy to get overwhelmed among our tasks at hand these days. I did, however, find the opportunity to visit my ewe flock the day following our return home.

It's always a joy to see the flock of ewes running to great you as you come into the pasture. Of course, most of them are just checking to see if you brought "food" in the form of grain (which I did not). Not wanting to visit empty-handed, I did take to them a bucket of loose minerals, which they eager licked from the troughs. A head count is always first on my things-to-do list when sitting with the ewes. Some of my girls, now retired, are old and I worry about them maintaining weight before winter. Everyone seemed to quite happy in their pasture and seemingly had full bellies. Cooler temps while we were away tends to make the sheep a bit lazy, often not rousing from their beds until later morning.

The usual visitors who each personally greet me are Birch, Delilah, Jewel, Ingrid and Forsythia, our bell ewe. (Feel free to browse our flock pics online to "meet" each of our sheep @ http://www.paintedrockfarm.com/.) As I sat down on my bucket next to a tree, I noticed Rue, the barn cat, had followed me to the ewe pasture. Sitting down is an open invitation for her to become a lap cat, which she only does AWAY from the house. :) The sun was just coming up over the trees and began to warm my face as I watched my sheep. Birch laid down next to my feet while Delilah, Jewel, Ingrid and Forsythia competed for my attention. I actively scratched their cheeks, rubbed their chest and patted their sides all the while talking to them, telling them I had missed them (this is TRUTH). My Jacobs are so attentive, at least they seem like they are really listening as I talk!

Most of the flock began to graze a bit and slowly created a small amount of distance from where I sat. Occasionally, I would see one lift her head to see if I was still there, then return to eating. The faithful few, however, remained at my side, awaiting a turn to be petted. Slowly, each one settled in her place and stood quietly around me, save Birch who remained at my feet and Rue who slept in my lap. Forsythia had her head cradled in my left arm and Delilah's head rested on my left leg. Jewel rested her chin on my knee while Ingrid laid her head on my right shoulder. This would have been a really cool picture had someone else come with me!

As I soaked in the morning sunshine, the Lord began to speak to me about His sheep and the Great Shepherd, Jesus. He revealed this picture to me: "You see, this moment is much like what is going on the Body of Christ even now. The flock as a whole is always within eye sight of the Shepherd, who lovingly looks over them. Most of the flock gaze contentedly at the Shepherd, comforted by His presence. They enjoy His company, glad to be part of His flock and are often found simply doing their own thing and eating from the table. But there are those few, those special ones, who seek to sit at the Shepherd's feet and love on Him. They gently push their way in nearer just to touch Him, to rest in His presence. At that moment, nothing else matters to the sheep. They aren't wanting to go anywhere else, not wanting to do anything else and also not wanting anything from Him. They are simply trusting the Shepherd fully with all they are and, all the while, resting on Him. This doesn't mean the rest of the flock is any less loved by the Shepherd nor does it question their position of being in the flock. It is just the simple fact that not all are willing to press in close just to be with the Shepherd. In fact, many are the ones who have entered into the Kingdom but choose to remain in the outer courts. Only a few will choose to sacrifice all, be willing to give up all they desire to do, merely to rest in His presence."

In my flock of 45 ewes, only 5 chose to remain close to me that day. The rest were indeed content with grazing, lying down or otherwise doing their own thing. The handful that stood by my side rested there with me for more than 1/2 hour. I was so humbled by God's revelation at such an unexpected moment, but such are His ways, aren't they? My heart cry is that I remain in that Mary-place of worship. Oh, how my heart longs to hear His voice call me "Beloved" as He did with John! Lord, forgive me of the times I get up from that place next to you to pursue my own desires. Teach me to walk in that place of worship throughout my days!

Quoting a GodChasers devotional I received recently: "Don't confuse being a Christian with being a disciple. Every believer is a Christian but not every believer is a disciple. Disciples are believer's whoa re committed to going deeper and deeper with the Lord - as deep as they can go. Most believer's are content just to be saved. They're just happy to have their ticket to heaven. The demands of the deeper life of Christ don't really attract them....The deeper you go into the palace, the fewer the people you will find. Why? Because few people are willing to pay the price of moving deeper." Read LUKE 14:25-33. Jesus clearly lays out the true cost of discipleship.

New Beginnings...8/08/08

2008-08-13T08:37:00.013-04:00

May I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Bryan Leonard....

God really blessed us with a lovely weekend down in Gulf Shores, AL for my oldest daughters wedding. Jessica and Bryan were united in marriage on Orange Beach, Friday, August 8, 2008. With friends and family watching on, they exchanged vows on the beach along with numerous guests observing from their condo balconies. It was awesome to hear the cheers of our new "audience" once they kissed and were presented as Mr. and Mrs. The wedding was stunningly beautiful and God was so faithful to provide His creative touches to everything, from the smallest details to the big stuff.

Sometimes I don't think the whole idea of my daughter being married has really sunk in just yet. I pray God gives me the grace to be faithful in my promise not to be a meddling mother/mother-in-law. And I ask the Holy Spirit to prompt me in faithful prayers not only for my new extended family, but also for my son-in-law and my daughter as they begin their lives together as husband and wife.

My prayer for these newlyweds is simply this:

"The Lord bless you and keep you;

the Lord make His face shine upon you a d be gracious to you;

the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace."

Numbers 6:24-26 (NIV)

May you both seek His presence in your daily love walk, both with each other and also with Him. May you keep Him as Head of your household at all times. For Bryan, I pray you do indeed love and cherish Jessica as Christ does His own lovely bride, the church. For Jessica, I pray you love and honor your husband, as unto the Lord. May God keep you close to His side, whisper gently into your ears of His love towards you both and may He alone reign as you serve Him by serving one another. I LOVE YOU! MOM

Boldly does not mean loudly...

2008-07-29T08:33:00.004-04:00

Ah..the joys of really reading scripture, receiving revelation and realizing how much man-twisting has been handed down over the decades, calling itself truth. I guess I am questioning everything I have been taught "religiously", because the more I learn about God's nature and His Word, the more I am convinced how utterly twisted conventional church has become. The one thing I do not question is my faith in Jesus Christ, His complete provisional sacrifice on the Cross that offers each one of us the precious gift of grace. He has indeed risen, sitting at the right hand of the Father and, thankfully, makes intercession for us. Oh, how I treasure His divine intercession for I am indeed not worthy! Only by His grace can I come before Him and have access to my Heavenly Father. Thank you, Jesus, my Saviour, for your grace, love and mercy!

God will reveal Himself, His true nature, to those who are seeking Him. I'm certainly not trying to suggest anyone isn't seeking the Lord but it does seem all to often Christian's take what they have been taught by men, by programs, agendas or the like as truth, instead of reading, meditating and soaking in the Word of God themselves, depending on the Holy Spirit to reveal His truth. The Bible tells us to "test the spirits" - test the messages you hear, do not accept them as fact if they fail to align totally with the Bible. You can't take one verse, dissect one sentence and build a faith on that. You either have to accept the entire Word of God as truth or reject it entirely. It is NOT a buffet bar, where you can choose which parts you agree with or those you dislike. God will not be mocked, He will share His glory with no man! It's all or nothing with Christ.

For years, I have heard one other verse misused, misrepresented and misquoted. This verse is Hebrews 4:16, "Let us come boldly before the throne of grace..." Now, if the entire verse was read, it would obvious what the entire context is meant to be. "Let us come boldly before the throne of grace, that we would obtain mercy and find grace to help in the time of need." And that is the King James version! So many times, I have heard others pray the beginning part of that verse and practically explode into a yelling frenzy when they reach the word "boldly". You know, like somehow this word mean you begin screaming your wish list out to God. Boldly does not mean loudly here. Additionally, the boldly part is clearly for the purpose of receiving the mercy, finding the grace we need, not for a platform to shout demands from.

So, I broke out the Strong's Concordance again to find the meaning behind this word "boldly". It's interesting to note that there I found a two part reference. It reads 3326+3954. If you have used a concordance before, then you might recognize the number reference to the original text. In this case, you have 2 separate words that mean the same thing. FREELY! Ah.. who the Son sets free is free in deed comes to mind here. (John 8:36). More on that word (freely) at a later time...

However, simply re-reading the "boldly" verse in NIV is an eye opener! "Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." That word confidence is used here to describe the sufficiency of Christ's atonement for our sins. Without the Blood and His pure sacrifice, we could not even consider approaching the Father. It is within the Blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ, God's Son, that we can find ourselves presentable to the Father. We have to believe that Christ paid the price, that His atonement is sufficient so that we can be full of belief and are confident in Him alone. It is not in our own effort or ability that we can approach the Father, it is solely out receiving the grace of God thru accepting Jesus Christ as our personal Saviour that we have any hope at all.

I am so tired of hearing preachers use the Hebrews scripture and "boldly" in a context of "we have arrived" or "we are all that, and a bag of chips". It must also break the Father's heart to hear us clanging around down on earth, parading around and flaunting our gifts, our position and our great speech in front of others. In fact, Jesus warned against this very thing - to NOT be like "the hypocrites". Matthew 6:5 talk about "those who love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by man." Did you know that another word there for "hypocrites" is defined as "pretenders"? How can we even fathom pretending before God?

It isn't the loud, ear tickling words of man that captures His attention. God notices brokenness, humility and meekness above all else. I believe that God looks favorably at His children who approach Him confident in Christ's sufficiency yet still humble enough to honor Him with reverence to Who He is. I love the way The Message puts it in Matthew 6:6, "Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense His grace." Oh my...Jesus help me to come before You in this way!

I close with the rest of that scripture in Matthew, verses 7-13 from The Message. The last few verses is "The Lord's Prayer" in a way I've never seen before. All for Jesus!

"The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formula's and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and He knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this:

Our Father, in Heaven, reveal who You are.
Set the world right.
Do what's best - as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the devil.
You're in charge!
You can do anything You want!
You're ablaze in beauty!
Yes. Yes. Yes.

Whose order is it anyway?

2008-07-28T07:26:00.004-04:00

There have been a few things on my heart lately. Both apply to very "popular" scriptures that, when read in the original text of Greek and/or Hebrew, have been quite misquoted, misrepresented and, at times, misused directly to twist things into a man-pleasing event we sometimes call 'church'.

Order - the word in itself evokes a type of control to my own mind. When this happens, I find myself searching the Word of God for meaning in its truest form. So many times I have heard 1 Corinthians 14:40 quoted and honestly, I have only recently delved into its real form and meaning. This, of course, may surprise you and perhaps even a offend a few more but I pray you seek out the scriptures for yourself. It would never be my intent to offend anyone but I also realize many people choose to take offense when truth is revealed and its upsets their comfort zones.

The verse reads, "Let all things be done decently and in order." Here Paul is talking to Christians in Corinth about orderly worship. To go into other sections of chapter 14 would require many, many other posts so I will try to stay on task here. One must understand how worship services were conducted back then to really grasp the full context and meaning of this part of scripture. It was common that the men and women of the church did not sit together. It was more like men on one side, women on the other. There were times when the women might shout across the room to their spouses and question the teachings right in the middle of things! This alone prompted Paul to instruct the women in the church at Corinth to "remain silent in the church" and to "inquire of their husbands at home". Again, another misquoted verse over the years when religious doctrine says this means women cannot preach, teach, etc. Thank you for the freedom you gave us, Jesus!

The word "order" has many definitions in Webster's Dictionary. The first one reads "social position; rank in the community" then onto "a state of peace and serenity; observance of the law". Wow! Isn't it the law that Jesus set us free from? Hmm...I am thinking this next one is what most doctrine feels works the best for them: "the sequence of arrangement of things or events; series; succession". Oh the scary part of it all! You see, the way God operates is very different to the system of the world. His ways are higher, His thoughts are higher (Isaiah 55:8-9), higher than any fleshly idea we can muster.

So, I am readying myself now for going to the Strong's Concordance in this verse, 1 Corinthians 14:40 and the word "order". In the Greek, this word is "taxis" and is a noun, not a verb, not an adverb, as we commonly refer to what order means. We have been taught order is a series of pre-planned events lined out by the Pastor as to how things are going to go in the service we are attending. I cannot help but question where is God allowed to function as Himself here? Order is a tangible thing rather than a descriptive term or word of action. In this verse it is describing the "nature" of God. OK, my spiritual eyeballs are like popping opening as I am reading this! Let everything be done decently and in the nature of God. A whole new meaning unfolds before me and, I must confess, HAVE to look into what is considered decently!

Back to Webster's...surprisingly, the first definition of this word "decent" brings almost an identical term in part of the Strong's concordance, which is "proper and fittingly". It goes on to list further meanings as "not immodest; not obscene" but the humdinger is this one: "conforming to approved social standards". WHOA! This is what we are trying to contain God in? A box designed according to what man believes conforms to an approved social standard?!? I think we need to re-think our doctrine, if this is what we are using! God cannot be contained and He cannot be controlled, He won't be. It is not in His nature to conform to the standards of man, indeed quite the opposite is required. We must conform to His standard, His way of living. We are created in His image, not our own.

Fittingly - I love this word! Fittingly is "applied to that which accords harmoniously with the character, spirit or tone of something". Decently literally means "honestly". The Greek word is "euschemonos" and is used in the original text as an adverb, or a term used to described something.

OK, so now I am going, "God! What are trying to say here?!?Why have we missed this intricate detail of Your character?" The reply I received from Him, within my spirit was this,"Let everything be done honestly and according to My nature." Yes, fittingly is it! Everything being done harmoniously with the character of God! OK, so now I get it but what do I do with this? It literally throws out the door the pre-printed bulletins, the song list, even the message from the preacher when we are not sensitive to what God wants to do at that very moment. When was the last time a church service was interrupted by the Holy Spirit? When was the last time worship lasted an entire service, perhaps only dwelling on one song? When was the last time Christian's gathered together and just ministered unto the Lord, rather than seeking our 'fix" for the week? When was the last time we took off the man-made handcuffs and unleashed God's manifest presence just by wanting to be with Him?

This opens up more questions I have for God. "God, what is Your character? What is it to be harmonious with Your nature?" I want to be like Him in being the creation He designed me to be. He created me in His image, in His likeness and I am so far from that. Oh, Jesus, help me! My heart's desire is to be in harmony with You, to be like Your nature, to be that "little Christ" that Christian's are called to be. Show me, Lord! Purge me, Lord, of things not in Your nature. Oh, Jesus, I am undone!

Entering into Intimacy with Jesus...

2008-07-22T09:44:00.005-04:00

Intimacy - that word has remained fresh within my spirit for some time now. I can't seem to escape it. The Lord keeps drawing me to a deeper level with Him and, honestly, it kinda scares me. I'm not talking about a fearful-being-afraid fear and really not even a reverential type of fear (although healthy doses of this is a must-have at all times). The fear I describe is really one of the unknown - you know, the times where you KNOW you are supposed to do something yet you cannot see beyond the 'right now', much less the outcome of your obedience but yet you are so drawn to this level of deepness in the Lord, you can't help but obey.

Oswald Chambers once wrote something about being obedient to the Lord and how that, when you are obedient to Jesus, it really doesn't cost you anything when done in the right heart. That heart, of course, is one of sheer love for God! Chambers goes on to say how your obedience to the Lord, done in love for Him, may well prove costly to those around you. I find this interesting in that Jesus spoke clearly about the costs of true discipleship. Luke 14:25-34 is so eye opening! Looking at verses 25-27,"ONE DAY WHEN LARGE GROUPS OF PEOPLE WERE WALKING ALONG WITH HIM, JESUS TURNED AND TOLD THEM, 'ANYONE WHO COMES TO ME BUT REFUSES TO LET GO OF FATHER, MOTHER, SPOUSE CHILDREN, BROTHERS, SISTERS - YES, EVEN ONE'S OWN SELF - CAN'T BE MY DISCIPLE. ANYONE WHO WON'T SHOULDER HIS OWN CROSS AND FOLLOW BEHIND ME CAN'T BE MY DISCIPLE."

Your love walk with Jesus may indeed cost you relationships with those closest to you, But as verse 33 reads, "BUT IF YOU'RE NOT WILLING TO TAKE WHAT IS DEAREST TO YOU, WHETHER PLANS OR PEOPLE, AND KISS IT GOODBYE, YOU CAN'T BE MY DISCIPLE." I also noticed the part in verse 27 about following BEHIND Jesus. If He isn't in the lead, we are walking in self once again. Discipleship is a training process...learning to follow the leader, Jesus. I don't want to be one of those folks who were merely following Him, walking along with the crowd. I want to be on the hem of His garment, even walking in His footsteps, with an echoing heart of "Yes, Lord".

Learning to be intimate with Christ is weird. I say this honestly because I can't think of another word! It's a foreign thing, something unfamiliar to me naturally. My flesh fears rejection but my spirit knows better. I cry out to Him in reckless abandon, not worrying about my mascara running or how my eyes get all red and puffy after tears not even worrying about my nose getting all snotty and stuffed up to the point of not even sounding like myself anymore. And perhaps, than might be the point anyway...giving up any and all claim to my-SELF and instead seeking His heart to replace my own.

Back to the intimacy part...the word intimate reflects a willingness of oneself to reveal secrets, dreams, your past, your present and your future; bring out the inner most part of yourself and revealing it to someone else. Without trust, this is difficult, if not impossible. And then, that feeling of vulnerability, an inadequacy of sorts. I recall the book titled, "Naked and Not Ashamed" that TD Jakes wrote many years ago. The title itself is worth a thousand words. That stripping away of all the falsehoods and all the distance we keep between ourselves and the heart of God has to go. God longs for our fellowship. He is our Daddy, our Heavenly Father, who desires relationship with us. I think He grows weary of the arms length distance we keep Him from our hearts.

Oh, make no mistake God knows us, He knows our hearts and He is not fooled by words from our mouths instead of truth from our hearts. I think what He wants from us is that willingness of each person to reveal themselves to the Father. All the good, the bad, the ugly - He already knows its there but to take than step in willing revelation of our hearts to Him, captures His attention! Purity is found in the only motivation being that of self-sacrifice, throwing it all out there for Him to love anyway.

I close with this scripture from Isaiah 66:1-2 (the Message Bible) "GOD'S MESSAGE: HEAVEN'S MY THRONE, EARTH IS MY FOOTSTOOL. WHAT SORT OF HOUSE COULD YOU BUILD FOR ME? WHAT HOLIDAY SPOT RESERVE FOR ME? I MADE ALL THIS! I OWN THIS! GOD'S DECREE. BUT THERE IS SOMETHING I'M LOOKING FOR: A PERSON SIMPLE AND PLAIN, REVERENTLY RESPONSIVE TO WHAT I SAY."

Oh, Jesus, make it my heart cry today!

Blessings of Abundance (fruit, that is)

2008-06-24T12:02:00.006-04:00

I write this post in between rounds at the canner. My husband and I spent 4 hours picking cherries at a not-quite-so-local orchard (although still within WV) and brought home about 135 lbs. of fruit. Of course, the lovely abundance must be worked up quickly so we have been canning since Saturday. I just completed the last batch of cherry pie filling this morning and now have the opportunity to begin working on the sweet cherries!

We have shared our harvest with friends and family, who are delighted to receive these lucious gifts. Having only spent $78 on cherries and about $20 in gas, we are happy to report a savings of more than $670 as compared to store bought fruit of the same amount. That is certainly worth the time and effort to can and process our own food, locally grown.

God has blessed us not only with this harvest but some new friends that own Ruggles Orchard in Levels, WV. We look forward to returning monthly (Lord willing) to pick fruit as well as support our local growers. We certainly are encouraging others to do the same!

Did I mention the bushel of Lodi apples? I can smell the sauce brewing....:)

Banana Twinkies

2008-05-13T09:35:00.002-04:00

Last week, I had this inkling for a twinkie. I was at the gas pump, fueling up my '71 Super Beetle, Miss Betsy (who, by the way gets like 40 mpg) and went to check out. I grabbed a paper and the last pack of those creme filled wonder cakes I so enjoyed as a kid. I was the twinkie one, my sister was a ding dong -- haha. Seriously though, she refused twinkies and ate the chocolate stuff.

I slipped back in the car yet kept smelling something odd but just couldn't place where it was coming from. Old cards like Betsy tend to smell more like gasoline all the time but this was more of a fruity odor. Since it was dark and I was trying to get home after Youth, I didn't turn on any lights to investigate. Instead, I managed to open my package of Twinkies while steering and shifting gears - yes, crumbs galore but that's OK. One bite of my twinkie revealed there was indeed something amiss here. The taste was somewhat familiar but just didn't seem right. A flick on of the interior light revealed these were BANANA TWINKIES!!!! ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who on earth invented such a travesty! This was not right at all. Of course, not wanting to be wasteful, I ate them anyway but the enjoyment was so totally NOT the the same.

Original twinkies are the bomb. I know God made them, peanut butter and flip-flops just for me. And now, someone has messed with the Twinkies. I cannot imagine who would actually want to eat the banana flavored fakes, especially not willingly when one had first tasted and enjoyed the best. I was verbally protesting outloud in my car about these "foreigners" who had now smelled up my car, reaking of a banana pudding. Don't get me wrong, I like banana pudding but not with my Twinkies!

Just then, a small analogy was revealed....The Gospel of Jesus day was a non-compromised word that was black and white. Either you were with Christ or against Him, walked with Him or walk in your own 'ability'. Today, there is this no-cost Christianity that speaks of how the Father loves us, forgives us and wants us all to be with Him in eternity. This is truth, yes, but only half truth. The problem with half-truths is that the other half tends to be a lie, if nothing else a lie of omission. This 'new gospel' has all the added bonuses of God's kingdom but has gotten an updated "new look", "new smell" and somehow made more "relative" today's people. But the one thing is lacks is the very TRUTH of God's word that also reveals there is a consequence of rejecting the entire Gospel -- that there is a hell, that is real. Jesus lived with the reality of hell's existence every day He walked this earth. He talked more about hell in the New Testament than any other thing -- more than love and more than angels. If you don't believe me, re-read the entire New Testament!

This no-cost, unaccountable message is much like those Banana Twinkies. It looks like the Original - has all the cake and cream filling, just like before but there is something FOREIGN inside that you cannot easily detect, perhaps only sensing something isn't quite right. The Bible warns us throughout the New Testament about false teachers, preachers and that "other gospel" that will occur in the last days. In order to know the truth, you have to know His Word -- READ THE LABEL and all the ingredients, making sure it is the real thing, not a masked imposter.

In Isaiah 14, the Word talks about how Lucifer (before he became the fallen one, Satan) was envious of the majesty of God.It reads:"WHAT A COMEDOWN THIS, O BABYLON! DAYSTAR! SON OF DAWN! FLAT ON YOUR FACE IN THE UNDERWORLD MUD, YOU, FAMOUS FOR FLATTENING NATIONS! YOU SAID TO YOURSELF, ' I WILL CLIMB TO HEAVEN, I WILL SET MY THRONE OVER THE STARS OF GOD. I WILL RUN THAT ASSEMBLY OF ANGELS THAT MEETS ON SACRED MOUNT ZAPHON. I WILL CLIMB TO THE TOP OF THE CLOUDS, I WILL TAKE OVER AS KING OF THE UNIVERSE!" ISAIAH 14:12-14.

Did you happen to pick up on the center theme of his character? If not, just count how many times the words, "I WILL" are spoken -- like five times! Jesus' only wanted His Father's will, not His own. He demonstrated this in the Garden of Gethsemane when he was praying so hard He sweated drops of blood. His will was crushed to fully allow His Father's will to be made known to the world.

I don't mean to be preachy, just another day of Holy Frustration brewing. :) I need that too of late, lest I fall into a complacent mode of existence. Lord, help me to walk in Your will, not my own this day and always.

So, I guess the weirdo analogy with the Banana Twinkies was just one of a reminder to always test the word against THE WORD, looking for the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth. The real Jesus is never self-seeking, never one operating out of his/her own will or so-called ability, only relying on God above for the daily needs to be met. For we are never promised tomorrow, only today and life can be truly but a vapor -- choose wisely.

Going thru the motions....

2008-04-08T09:05:00.004-04:00

March was a weird month....just odd really and feeling a bit out of touch recently. I guess "blogging" does not have to contain some profound revelation every time I post so I hope to jot some lines more often, unless God directs otherwise. My prayers have been HIS WILL, not mine and sometimes this has come at my own "disappointment". I use that word because I still have live flesh hanging around in my God-walk and it pains me to sacrifice what "self" still lives. As Paul said, "I die daily..." and this proves to be a much longer process than I ever imagined.

Normally, this is a busy time of year around the farm with active lambing but we did not breed our ewe flock in the fall -- first time in eight years! Drought conditions last summer and slow sales contributed to our decision but so have high hay and supplemental grain prices. This fall looks to have soaring corn prices, among other grains and we have to make some additional flock reductions over the spring and summer months. Since some of our Jacobs took breeding matters quite seriously, we still had a few lambs born at the beginning and the end of the month. Blessed to have had easy deliveries, healthy babies and all mom's doing well. I miss having lambs here this year but know our decision to hold off was the right one.

Here in WV, the daffodils are blooming, along with the forsythia. I can detect some small blossoms on the apple trees but no blooms just yet. Weather forecast indicates a snow/rain mix by week's end. And such is the likes of Spring! My bush cherries are in bloom and some new seeding bushes need transplanting. I lost one of my mature bush cherries over the winter. :( Looks like excess water may have built up around the roots and possibly froze the poor thing solid. There are many perennials I have to divide this spring, some to share and some to transplant at the cabin. I don't have near as much shade there as I do around the house so some of my favorite one's have limited space there. My bleeding hearts are a personal favorite -- I can see a few inches of their foliage above ground now. Now if I can just complete my spring mulching....:)

I am also missing Honduras very much these days. I visit the ME website (www.mehonduras.org) frequently to see familiar faces, read up on the recent newsletters, look at the base camp (for the umteenth thousandth time) and all the while longing to return. Somewhere deep in my spirit, I know I will go back and hopefully, for a longer time period. My family thinks I'm nuts and that is OK. I would love to spend Christmas in Tegucigalpa, experiencing different "traditions" and have something other than ham or turkey! Fresh pineapple comes to mind...oh, wait! Maybe that was dessert. At any rate, I am sure anything Nubie (sp?) prepares would be a blessing. The thought of seeing Christ, in Christmas and in Honduras is an amazingly awesome thought. Your Will, Lord, Yours alone.

Praying today and thanking the Lord for another beautiful day of life. It seems easy to do today with warm sunshine, chirping birds and watching the wild turkey flocks above the pond. Why is our thankfulness always so seemingly "tied" into our own emotions rather than directed from our hearts out of adoration of our Heavenly Father? Lord, forgive me for being so shallow and relying on feelings or emotions of late in my praises to you. You alone are awesome and deserve the highest praise. My worship is to You alone and I honor you, Holy One.

Reading the Word and just hovering in the Book of Matthew recently. One particular scripture has been on my heart so much lately and I know the Lord is calling me to purge "self" even more.

"Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone desires to be my disciple, let him deny himself, disregard, lose sight of and forget himself and his own interests, and take up his cross and follow Me, cleave steadfastly to Me, conform wholly to My example in living, and, if need be, in dying also. For whoever is bent on saving his temporal life, his comfort and security here, shall lose it, eternal life; and whoever loses his life, his comfort and security here, for My sake shall find it, life everlasting." Matthew 16:24-25, Amplified Bible

Examining my own life in this light of scripture reveals to me how much of my life rests within my own interests and within myself. Oh, how this pains me to know how I failed Him in this so many times and how desperately I need His Grace! As I give Him my heart, my whole everything, my prayer is only that He give me His heart, His desires, His wants in its place. Nothing more, nothing less -- just you Jesus.

God's infinite knowledge of me...

2008-03-07T08:27:00.005-05:00

Psalm 139 ~ God’s infinite knowledge of man, and also one of my most favorite books of the Bible. David was a man after God’s own heart and his acknowledgement of God’s sheer awesomeness and divinity is present in the words of this scripture. David poured out himself before the Lord on many occasions, in good times and in bad, yet his heart remained in a continual state of yearning for truly knowing the Lord.

I am convinced that God knows the depths of my very being and there is no use in trying to hide feelings, frustrations or other emotions from Him. He knows me intimately and yet He loves me anyway. I find this amazing! Despite all my short comings, my failures and even in my meager successes, He still loves me deeply. Before Him, I can be naked and not ashamed. Transparency does not come easy but it really is the only way to approach His presence. Anyone who knows anything about the presence of God knows that anything impure or unholy will burn up before Him. God cannot look upon sin and I am so thankful the blood of His precious Son, Jesus, covers me in grace and restores my fellowship with The Holy One.

Some time ago, God gave me a marvelous revelation at an old Coke bottle I found while on a mission trip in Honduras:

People filter in and out of the room daily, yet no one notices the empty bottle. To them, it is a shell of what is left of a former good thing, no longer with any use. It used to be filled with an intoxicatingly sweet, sparkling drink. It used to could claim it was the “real thing” but that was when it had something of itself bottled up inside. Now, the empty bottle has nothing remaining, only a scratched glass frame. This bottle reminds me of how God needs us to be. To the casual observer, this is merely an empty, worn out, fragile remnant of former greatness. To God, it’s a perfect vessel merely waiting on His Divine touch. The emptiness of our former selves allows God to fill us with His Living Water to an overflowing that we can no longer contain. He alone is the Real Thing. Everything else is just a sticky, sweet liquid that is all happy and bubbly when you first try it but always goes flat when left to its own ability. The tiredness we experience is a daily reminder that we cannot function within our own abilities or strength. We cannot serve both God and man just as we cannot please both God and man. It is only in our weakness that He is made strong. And only then can He increase because we are decreasing. The pride of our own “self” leaves no room for fragility. Our hearts must remain tender and broken in order for Him to work deeply within us. Above all else, we must remain transparent before Him so that the world no longer sees any part of ourselves, our name or what we used to be. His light must be able to shine thru our emptiness. We must be poured out of everything we exist of in order for Him to complete His good work. In looking thru the scratched, broken shell of what remains, the world should see the reflection of Jesus Christ. Nothing else matters.

Psalm 139, God’s Infinite Knowledge of Man
“God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand. I’m an open book to You; even from a distance, You know what I’m thinking. You know when I leave and when I get back; I’m never out of Your sight. You know everything I’m going to say before I start the first sentence. I look behind me and You’re there, then up ahead and You’re there too – You’re reassuring presence, coming and going. This is too much, too wonderful – I can’t take it all in.

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid Your Spirit? To be out of Your sight? If I climb to the sky, You’re there! If I go underground, You’re there! If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon, You’d find me in a minute – You’re already there waiting! Then I said to myself, ‘Oh, He even sees me in the dark! At night, I’m immersed in the light!’ It’s a fact; darkness isn’t dark to You; night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to You.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; You formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God – You’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration – what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before You, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived on day. Your thoughts – how rare, how beautiful! God, I’ll never comprehend them! I couldn’t even begin to count them – any more than I could count the sand of the sea. Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with You!”

…..”Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; cross examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about; see for Yourself whether I’ve done anything wrong – the guide me on the road of eternal life.” The Message Remix

Lord, Jesus…my prayer today is that I not stray from your manifest presence. Teach me to walk in Your ways, to seek Your face and remain forever surrendered to Your will. Let my heart sing today…

Have Thine own way, Lord, have Thine own way.
Thou art the Potter, I am the clay.
Mould me and make me, after Thy will,
While I am waiting, yielded and still.
Have Thine own way, Lord, have Thine own way.
Search me and try me, Master, today
Whiter than snow, Lord, wash me just now
As in Thy presence, I humbly bow.
Have Thine own way, Lord, have Thine own way.
Wounded and weary, help me I pray.
Power, all power, surely is Thine,
Touch me and heal me, Saviour divine!
Have Thine own way, Lord, have Thine own way.
Hold over my being, absolute sway
Fill with Thy Spirit, ‘till all shall see
Christ only, always, living in me.

Willing to be spun...

2008-02-15T10:59:00.001-05:00

I sat at my spinning wheel this morning and began to spin some yarn out of a prized fleece. As I spun, God began to open up to me the likeness He has to a spinner. Yes, He is a Master Weaver and we love to wear the robes He creates! But, have we ever considered the preparation that must occur in order for Him to prepare the “garment” of our lives in Him?

Wool comes from sheep ~ it is their outermost garment that keeps them warm in winter and cool in summer. It is their comfort thru rain, sleet, snow and sunshine. Most sheep do not like being sheared because it requires them to be still. Sheep are normally sheared in a seated position, which they also do not like. The process itself normally does not take very long but this depends a lot on the sheep being cooperative. You cannot explain the shearing need to the sheep, they really do not understand. They don’t like feeling naked.

The shearer gets right to “heart” of things by taking off the belly wool first. This wool is unusable and contaminated heavily with dirt, mud, urine – you get the picture. He then starts at the rear leg, coming up the hock, sides and across part of the back. Moving to the front of the sheep (sheep is still seated), the shearer works the front leg much like the rear one. Then, he carefully shears up the neck area and proceeds down the back a bit – almost done now! He can then begin at the bottom leg on the other side and continue shearing in the same manner as the first. It is a careful process all designed to keep the wool intact and in one piece. I am always amazed how the sheep always ends up on its feet as the shearing process is completed.

After the wool has been shorn, it must be skirted. All of the hay particles, dung tags and dirt saturated areas come off first and are easily stripped away. Shaking the fleece can help too, allowing for more loose stuff to fall away. There is usually some imbedded junk that has to be removed by hand. Now, the fleece has to be washed. The soapy water has to be pretty hot to get fleece clean. You can’t agitate or rub the fleece too hard or you will cause it to felt. Rinse in the same way ~ it’s very important that the water temperature remain the same. Hot washing and cold rinsing will cause the wool to shrink into an unusable mess. Clean wool must be dried ~ sunshine and a gentle breeze helps. You may have to turn the fleece over a couple of times but the sunshine and breeze alone are sufficient to complete the task.

Half-way done! Once the wool has been skirted, washed and dried it still has to be picked and carded. Clean wool still holds a lot of “junk” in it, especially tiny thorns from hay matter. You may also find hay and grain particles, which can be difficult to remove. This is the most painstaking task! You will want to break out the hand cards to open up the fleece. Be careful ~ the teeth of a hand card are sharp and direct contact to skin will cause serious injury! A pair of hand cards is used to fluff up the wool and separate the fibers. Combing the fibers in the same direction makes for some really nice roving. Once the fiber is picked apart, it can be closely inspected for deeply imbedded foreign matter. Remove anything that isn’t wool. You should now have roving – a soft, lofty piece of primed wool ready for spinning. You should note, in this present state, the refined wool is easily pulled apart and sways easily in the wind. It does not yet have the strength necessary to endure being worn in its present state.

There is a string on the spindle of the wheel that you must attach the roving to in order to spin wool into yarn. The refined string is threaded thru the eye of the needle. You must place the roving across the string and hold tightly. The wheel can be started by a touch of the hand and treadling begins here. It is important to note the wheel must only travel in ONE direction to spin yarn. As the spinning ensues, the “puff” of roving begins to twist and attach itself to the string. The two separate pieces become one and the wool puff becomes a yarn string, winding thru that small hole, called the eye of the needle.

What was once a fragile puff of wool becomes a sturdy piece of twisted yarn. You might think NOW everything is ready, but wait! Once again, comes a hot soaking to set the twist of the yarn. Without the heat, the yarn quickly becomes unraveled into a lumpy puff of its former state. Another drying process follows and the result is a piece of yarn that is strong, weatherproof, heat-resistant and will not rot. Once the yarn has been thru the refining process, it can now be woven into a wearable garment.

Now the analogy…
The wool here represents our life and what we find comfortable about ourselves. This needs to be removed. God, our Master Shearer, has to have us in a tender vulnerable place of submission to begin His work. He goes right to the worst place first – the belly wool – a place we try so hard to hide from everyone else. The dirtiest dung spot within us is where He tends to begin. At some point in our lives, we have all gotten up from our seated position before the work was through. In the end, we must return to this place “belly up”, if you will, so His work may continue.

I think it’s the nakedness that occurs after the removal of our “wool”, our comfort zones that causes God’s process of refinement in us to take so long. None of us like to be still and certainly not in a seated position, on our rump leaning back to a point where we cannot move. People rarely willingly place themselves in this position of submission so that God can begin His work. Christ set the best example for us to follow: “…and like a lamb before the shearer is silent…” Acts 8:32. He was not afraid to stand before the Shearer because He was not ashamed in His nakedness ~ He did not have a comfort zone.

There is a picking and cleansing process that must occur. For some reason, we all struggle to keep “self” intact, hanging onto to our junk as long as we can. In a sense, we can accomplish anything we set our minds to do in this zone of comfort. But then comes the stripping…the “skirting” within our hearts comes quickly and is following by His lovely washing. Christ cleanses us of all the sin dirt we have collected over the years. He may even shake us from time to time too ~ those are the outer layers of the obvious. It is those times of shaking and picking thru the bits and pieces of ourselves we are fond of that we tend to shy away from. Our Master is always there to gently rub away any trace of impurity. It is done completely and yet He has just begun His great work!

The Son-Shine allows a time for His light to go through and permeate our very being. The gentle wind of the Holy Spirit breathes life into us as we are laid open before Him. “…for there is nothing covered that will not be revealed and nothing hidden that will not be known.” Matthew 10:26, NKJV. The drying time can be difficult because it is a time of waiting. No one likes waiting, especially when “you” are drying up the whole time. But there is a purpose in all of this ~ it is a time of preparation where something useful can be refined into something spectacular. Don’t get off the drying table!

God has to break out His Word, the hand cards, to do some separation and subsequent removal of anything not worthy to remain in His presence. “For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.” Hebrews 4:12-13, NKJV.

Once God does some stripping within our lives, we all too often jump “off the table” and right into our openness, once again trying to do everything the old way. We are this roving now. We have been picked thru by God and found ready for the spinning, so why is it we try to put on our new life and do it ourselves? God has not yet completed the work and the intimate refinement is just beginning. Our foundation has to be firm, not something that will blow away with the winds of life.

The eye of the needle on a spinning wheel requires the wool to be twisted in order to pass thru it. We must become intertwined with Him in order to find the way of true life. “…narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.” Matthew 7:14, NKJV. It is God’s desire that we become one with Him. With Him at the wheel, there is no difference between the refined string and newly spun yarn. They are indistinguishable from one another. Jesus said, “I and the Father are one heart and mind.” John 10:30, The Message Remix.

Again, this provides us with another example of our own desire to “get on with it”. The moment we do something in our own strength, I sense we have dishonored Him. God continually puts us thru “the fire” (the heat of life) in order to purify us and purify our motives. This is big issue with the body of Christ today. Our motives must be pure! Do not be deceived in your own ability because it is nothing. When we allow God to twist us (getting uncomfortable) and refine us to the point where we fit thru the narrow gate, THEN He can really complete His grand design and plan for our lives. Our innermost spirit man learns to wait, without complaining, on God’s continual preparation and refinement. We must abide in Him! Jesus said the words, “…without Me you can do nothing” in John 15:5, where He illustrates that He is the Vine and we are the branches. The Vine is our source of life. The branches cannot take the place of the Vine, not ever! Dependency on our own ability leaves us stressed out, tired and worn out. Walking in need of our Lord always, within Him, provides the strength to endure anything. Obedience to Him, carried out thru Him, out of our love for Him is never exhausting.

So my prayer is this: Heavenly Father, I yield to You once again today. I have gotten up and gotten out of Your refinement process so many times ~ please forgive me! I repent from going about my own life and not laying down to you in every aspect ~ please forgive me! Thank you for being so patient with me and loving me throughout every step. I love you so much, Lord! To Your plans, I say Yes and Amen! To Your desires, I submit myself. Take me, Lord Jesus, and take me thru the refining that You must complete within me. I yield my will to Yours. Open my life and pick thru it, remove all the junk! Create Yourself within me where I can truly be in Your lovely image. Spin me, twist me and take me thru the narrow places that I must pass ~ I trust You completely. Weave my life into something that honors You and brings You along all the glory You are due. Everything I am and all that is within me is all for You. Help me, Lord, as I am nothing without You. I love you, Jesus.

Disciples vs. Followers...

2008-02-08T08:43:00.000-05:00

“Meanwhile, the eleven disciples were on their way to Galilee, headed for the mountain Jesus has set for their reunion. The moment they saw Him, they worshiped Him. Some though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally.”
Matthew 28:16-17, The Message Remix

After reading this verse thru many times, I have to wonder which of the disciples held back and for how long? It isn’t written in the scriptures so I would imagine I may not discover the answer to this question until Eternity. Did they risk everything to become a disciple or did they "hold back" and remain in a place of following from a distance?

The Lord laid the word “disciple” on my heart this week and I was wowed by the number of times it was used in the New Testament. But I also noticed the word “followers” and rarely were they used interchangeably. It seems that the differences in these words were used to describe the commitment level of those closest to Jesus during His ministry. There were many who followed Him, but fewer real disciples. I think this is an issue within the Body of Christ even today.

A “follower” is defined as “…a person who follows another person’s beliefs or teachings…”. Pretty vague, if you ask me and seriously no depth whatsoever. Unfortunately, there are many, many followers in churches today who follow a man or a woman, rather than Christ alone. I can think of a long time within my own life where I fell into this category. Sure, I liked the “get out of hell” ticket I possessed but I knew little about Jesus Christ, the Person. I knew Him as the One who saved me, YES, but I had not given Him my entire life. After all, I viewed that as “mine” and I could do with it whatever I wanted. It reminds me all too well of my Baptist upbringing in that the church I was raised in always referred to Christianity as Jesus being “Lord and Savior”. I had publicly professed Him as Lord over all and as my personal Savior, but I never once considered the requirement (yes, it does require willing surrender to die daily) of making Him Lord over the totality ofmy own life. That, I thought, was a little ambiguous, if not totally over the edge in what I was ever taught.

Disciples – those were the people in the Bible who walked with Christ on a daily basis. Webster’s defines a disciple as “…a learner, one who is able to comprehend or hold fast (in the faith)…”. Ever notice in scripture how Christ had people who followed Him, wanting to see miracles or be taught by Him? They wanted to be healed, delivered or set free themselves but once they had their need met, you never heard too much more about them. I’m not sure why additional details were not written about them but you know they had lives they lived, people they encountered daily and so on. Do you ever wonder what happened to them AFTER they had received from God? I do.

When Christ gave the Great Commission, His words were…

“Go, therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Amen”
Matthew 28:19-20, New King James Bible

Same scripture, from The Message Remix…

“…God authorized and commanded Me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and wide, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day after day, right up to the end of the age”
Matthew 29:19-20, The Message Remix

Followers do not disciple, they are imitating their teacher. A noble thing, yes, and it is possibly even safe to say a “good” thing. We ARE to reflect Jesus in everything but we are not merely to stop there. Christian’s must, at some point, move into discipleship. When you grow in your relationship with the Lord, He reveals things to you, He leads and guides you – He is training you! Yet, His purpose is not purely for your own benefit but for the benefit of others.

“Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand – shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in Heaven.”
Matthew 5:14-16, The Message Remix

Why are we so happy to “sit and dine” after we have been filled? We indulge ourselves to the point of growing fat, lazy and complacent because we become comfortable at the table. It’s hard work to get into the fields, to harvest and no one seems to be as willing to labor for the Kingdom of God as they are willing to eat of Him. There is a time for both! You cannot labor without first being filled up with His goodness just as you cannot be filled up if you are only laboring. Once you are filled, however, it is time to GET UP from the table! As John 4:35 puts it, “Open your eyes and take a good look at what’s right on front of you…fields are ripe, it’s harvest time!”

Disciples are followers first but they don't stop in imitating their teacher. The danger there is the follower becomes content with the association with Jesus without committing to the sacrifice of becoming a disciple. A true disciple, one who develops a personal, devoted relationship, chooses to willingly lay down their own life for the sake of Christ, His call, His will and His desire. They literally cease to exist apart from Christ.

“Don’t look for short cuts to God. The market is flooded with surefire, easy going formula’s for a successful life that can be practiced in your spare time. Don’t fall for that stuff, even though crowds of people do. The way to life – to GOD! – is vigorous and requires total attention.”
Matthew 7:13-14, The Message Remix

And as I close today, a more familiar translation speaks volumes…

“Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.” Matthew 7:13-14, New King James version

The Wedding Banquet…

2008-02-04T10:48:00.000-05:00

“…God’s kingdom,” He said, “is like a king who threw a wedding banquet for His Son. He sent out servants to call in all the invited guests. And they wouldn’t come! He sent out another round of servants, instructing them to tell the guests, ‘Look, everything is on the table, the prime rib is ready for carving. Come to the Feast!’ They only shrugged their shoulders and went off, one to weed his garden, another to work in his shop. The rest, with nothing better to do, beat up on the messengers and then killed them. The king was outraged and sent his soldiers to destroy those thugs and level their city. Then he told his servants, ‘We have a wedding banquet all prepared but no guests. The ones I invited weren’t up to it. Go out in to the busiest intersections in town and invite anyone you find to the banquet.’ The servants went out on the streets and rounded up everyone they laid eyes on, good and bad, regardless. And so the banquet was on – every place filled. When the King entered and looked over the scene, he spotted a man who wasn’t properly dressed. He said to him, ‘Friend, how dare you come in here looking like that!’ The man was speechless. Then the king told his servants, ‘Get him out of here – fast. Tie him up and ship him to hell. And make sure he doesn’t get back in.’ That’s what I mean when I say, ‘Many will get invited; only a few make it.’
MATTHEW 22:1-14 The Message Remix

What revelation is found in these scriptures! I look at the “church” today as the ‘invited guests’ – you know, the ones who wouldn’t come to the feast set before them. Jesus is calling to His chosen Bride, saying, “Come and Feast of Me” and how desperately we need to consume ourselves with Christ alone! His words from John 14, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to Father except through Me” continually echo within my spirit. He is calling to the Church and we have ignored His precious voice for the sake of doing our own thing. Just like in the scriptures above, we have “…shrugged their shoulders and went off, one to weed his garden, another to work in his shop…” – how this must break our Savior’s heart!

The wedding banquet was entirely prepared and yet they ignored His call. So, He sends his servants into the streets, inviting ALL who would come, good or bad, regardless. Every place was then filled and the feast would begin. But right at the very moment the fest should begin, the King comes in and looks everything over. He peers through Holy Fire because nothing impure or unholy can make it into His presence. He finds one who had not come in prepared, he wasn’t dressed properly. I certainly do not believe this has anything to do with outward appearances. Clothing in the natural form is not what Jesus searches. He looks into and searches the heart in its truest form and intent. The person He found at the banquet was not worthy to eat from the king’s table because he did not know the King! He was not covered in His grace, and had tried to enter under his own strength, his own way of doing things. Sadly, this man was bound and cast into Hell, which is a very real place that no one seems to want to talk about any longer.

Who wants to hear about a place of eternal fire anyway? This place of everlasting separation from God is real and, when we leave this part out of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we fail to share the ENTIRE truth of God’s Holy Word. Yes, He is a loving God, who is “not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance…” (2 Peter 3:9). But you should also know that God expects to be number One. The very first of the Ten Commandments is about Him:

“No other Gods, only Me.”
Exodus 20:3 The Message Remix

And He is a “most jealous God” – His words, not mine. Read verses 4-6 of Exodus 20. He does not expect or desire to be anything less than FIRST in your life. Nothing less will do either. You cannot be half committed to Christ, while still being committed to your own life and how you want to live it. For one, it isn’t yours in the first place. The Word of God says “you are not your own” and that “you have been bought with a price”, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. Second, Jesus gave His whole, entire and pure life so that you can have eternal life in Him. There is only ONE way to this eternal life and that is thru Jesus Christ. He took on the sin of the world, past present and future; He was painfully tortured and crucified; He died and was buried but He rose again from the dead on the third day – glorious and victorious over sin, death, hell and the grave! All He asks of you is nothing less that what He willingly gave in the first place.

Now the tough words from the story of the wedding feast….

When the second set of messenger’s went to the invited guests and told them, ‘Look, everything is on the table, the prime rib is ready for carving. Come to the Feast!’ They only shrugged their shoulders and went off, one to weed his garden, another to work in his shop.” We have already established that, basically, they could have cared less about the feast, merely interested in doing their own thing, going out things like “business as usual.”

What happened to the messengers? The remaining guests, those who weren’t going off to “do” something, really had nothing else but time on their hands. So…”The rest, with nothing better to do, beat up on the messengers and then killed them. “ Yes, they killed them and such will happen to messengers of the King. But notice the very next line, “The king was outraged and sent his soldiers to destroy those thugs and level their city.”

The messengers were killed but the soldiers destroyed the others – both worked for the King. Some were killed while giving the message and, in the end, the King executed his judgment on the rest and His soldier’s did the killing. “Vengeance is Mine” says the Lord, “I will repay” comes to mind here (Romans 12:19).

I suppose this writing is more of a word of warning than anything else. Just because you call yourself a believer, don’t think for a moment that God’s judgment isn’t coming. It is coming and it is coming FIRST for the House of God, the Church. The Body of Christ is the Bride of Christ and it MUST be pure and without spot or wrinkle. His Holy Fire is coming to purify so that we may be found worthy of entering into His kingdom, to dine at that Wedding Banquet.

Submit yourselves wholly unto the Lord. Let Him have His way in your life, forgetting your hopes, dreams and your own desires instead seeking after His kingdom. Yes, it is a great sacrifice but also one that comes with an eternal reward – life everlasting in His presence!

Motivations of the heart...

2008-01-25T09:03:00.000-05:00

What motivates you? The word itself means “something, i.e. dream or desire, that stirs you to action”. This brings to mind the word “passion”. Knowing what you are passionate about and how it relates to the Kingdom of God is a crucial step in our life walk with Christ. As I have said before, either everything is spiritual or it isn’t and God is IN everything or He isn’t. I cannot see where one can have true passion for something real and it not be connected to Him.

I came across a stunning example of passionate worship recently in reading Matthew 28. After Jesus was crucified, buried and rose from the dead, He was seen by His disciples as they made their way to Galilee.

“Meanwhile, the eleven disciples were on their way to Galilee, headed for the mountain Jesus has set for their reunion. The moment they saw Him, they worshiped Him. Some though, held back, not sure about worship, about risking themselves totally.”
Matthew 28:16-17, The Message Remix

How many times have we been unsure about risking ourselves totally for Christ? The mere thought of that crushes my heart in knowing I have done this so many times before. Passionate worship is a place of pure abandonment, where you are no longer concerned about where you are, who is there or what people may think as you give yourself to our Lord and Savior. When we can connect our passion for Him to our worship, we enter to a place where we are ministering to the Lord.

In Daniel 7, there is mention in one of Daniel’s dreams where he saw into heaven. He spoke about being in the throne room of the Most High God and where he saw a thousand thousand ministering to the Lord ~ that is 1 MILLION people. Daniel then mentioned the ten thousand times ten thousand who stood before Him ~ equivalent of 100 million people. Hmm…my calculations tell me there are 99 million fewer people who are close enough to Him to be able to minister to the Lord, as compared to the ones who are standing before Him. I don’t know about you but I want to be as close to Him as I can get!

Imagine the sheer privilege it would be to minister to our Lord! You see, worship isn’t about us coming before God with a wish list of things we want Him to do for us. Worship is about Him, about giving Him all the glory, honor and adoring love He is due just because of WHO He is, not about WHAT He can do for us. This is where the modern day church has fallen short. We make worship into an entertainment even with great music, dance and all the other feel goods we can muster. But, at the end of the day, we must ask ourselves, did we enjoy worship? If the answer is yes, I fear that we have failed in honoring Him and, instead, gotten something for ourselves out of worship. True worship GIVES, it pours out and expects nothing in return. If we have enjoyed worship, then what did God receive from it?

His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways higher than our ways – read Isaiah 55. He doesn’t think like us nor we like Him so what we enjoy is likely to make God want to puke! Strong words indeed but you must realize your life is NOT your own, it is His. He gave you life by giving you His life – you have been bought with a price, that is with His supreme sacrifice. The Psalmist, David, said, “I will not offer You a sacrifice that costs me nothing.” Do you see the connection?

Worship is a sacrifice it COSTS us everything, if we are worshiping in spirit and in truth. So what motivates your worship? Are you more interested in getting something from God or giving something to Him? Is your concentration centered around the sound of music or listening for the sound of His voice? Reconsider your position, your passion in worshiping Him – let Him purify your heart and your motives.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God”
Matthew 5:8

Mirrors of reflection...

2008-01-15T12:03:00.000-05:00

Jacob sheep are always spotted and each one is completely different in its markings and appearance. Even in twin or triplet births, each sheep has some variation in its spotting pattern. Even more interesting is the fact that while Jacobs appear to be white sheep with black spots, their DNA reveals they are black sheep with white spots or a pie-bald pattern. That is weird!

As I shepherdess, I have grown accustomed to recognizing each of my sheep and I know them by name. Even with a flock exceeding 80 animals, I am still able to look at the sheep and instantly know who he/she is and who their parents are. Often times, there is a striking resemblance from parent to off spring, but not always.

And, as always, I am reminded that God is in everything. In Genesis 1:26, “God spoke: ‘Let Us make human beings in Our image, make them reflecting Our nature..’ ” (The Message Remix).With the vast number of people on this planet, it is still God’s intent that humans are created in the image of God, in His likeness, reflecting His nature. Before salvation, we identify only with ourselves, our own desires, wants and dreams. When we have surrendered our life to Christ, we behold His glory and therefore become mirrors of Him, which was His desire all along.

Long ago, a mirror was referred to as a “looking glass”, something to gaze into and see a reflection of the one who stands in front of it. Do you remember the first time you looked into a mirror? Most likely, the ones who raised you could share some revealing details about that first encounter! Isn’t that the way God does it too? He looks deep within us and knows every intimate detail, every secret and every fear we hold. After all, He created us!

“Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you.
Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you:
A prophet to the nations – that’s what I had in mind for you.”
Jeremiah 1:5, The Message Remix

Incredible to try and comprehend, isn’t it? So many people but God knows them all, He created them, breathed Life into them and longs for them to know Him. Religion is not the answer. Religious people know all about God but they do not know Him for who He is. Christianity is having a relationship with Jesus Christ as one’s personal Lord and Saviour – this means you answer to Him in everything. Many people come to Christ and willingly give Him their heart for salvation and gift of spending eternity with Him in Heaven. Why then are so few of the same people not willing to make Him Lord? I think it boils down to who is in control, which as I have said before, is highly overrated!

Although I have not fully reached walking in total fullness, I am longing to reach that place! I only desire that, when others look at me, they do not see Cheryl but Jesus Christ revealed in me. I must remain transparent before Him so that the world no longer sees any part of myself, my name or what I used to be. His light must be able to shine thru my emptiness. I must be poured out of everything I exist of in order for Him to complete His good work. In looking thru the scratched, broken shell of what remains, the world should see the reflection of Jesus Christ. Nothing else matters.

Comfort is highly overrated...

2008-01-04T08:48:00.000-05:00

I awoke this morning to discover the cold temperatures outdoors had frozen our water pipes. (Of course, failing to close off the vents in the crawl space under the house probably didn’t help much either.) This meant no traditional showers before work, much to my daughter’s dismay. My primary concern was about making coffee. Hmm…coffee vs. stinky arm pits…coffee it is!

So, right off the bat this morning, I’m faced with the challenge of how to respond to this water dilemma. My daughter was NOT enthusiastic about taking a sink bath with bottled water I had stored in the fruit cellar awhile back but she managed. My husband was “appointed” to go under the house to check things out (only after donning his artic gear) to confirm the pipes were indeed frozen. The thermometer reads 5 degrees farenheit. I must admit I was the only person in the house who laughed about this.

Looking to the bigger picture, I can see how God truly is in everything-- yes, even in frozen water pipes. After all, He is looking to see how our hearts will respond even in the difficult times. And this situation doesn’t even qualify as truly difficult, merely inconvenient. This brought me to the place of pondering our human desire to be comfortable at all times. We get upset when we aren’t comfortable, don’t we? I know I get really crabby when it’s too hot, especially when the thermostat inside my house is set at 75 degrees and it feels like walking in an oven. I like it cooler in the house, I sleep better and can avoid being crabby by getting my sleep. Here, my husband echoes a resounding, “AMEN”!

Comfort – a state of enjoyment or contentment; implies the absence of anything disturbing, painful or distressing. I should point out here that the word “complacent” holds a very similar definition with the word “contentment”. Comfort is highly overrated and complacency should be avoided at all costs. Both are reflections of our human nature, our old nature. Doesn’t the Bible say we are to “put off the old man”?

“…you’re done with that old life. It’s like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you have stripped off and put in the fire. Now, you’re dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with His label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete…”

Colossians 3:9-10, The Message Remix

I love verse 14! It exemplifies the reflection of Christ that we are supposed to be in ALL things, even with frozen water pipes!

“And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.”

With that in mind, how can I possibly get upset over frozen water pipes? I guess I could have fussed and fretted but what would that have changed? Those pipes wouldn’t have become unfrozen because of that would they? This morning I may not have all the comforts of home that I am used to but I am also reminded of the millions of people in this world who have no home at all. No running water, no heat to warm them from the brutal cold and no food for their growling stomachs. Be thankful at all times for what you are blessed with. Get over not being in control and celebrate the giver of life, Jesus Christ! Don’t allow your circumstances to freeze up the love of Christ within you.

Returning to comfort, complacency and control….three things to be avoided! My Bible says we are to rest in God but I don’t find the words above anywhere describing His nature. Comfort breeds complacency and apathy, it makes us stagnant. Control keeps God at arm’s length because we have taken our free will back upon ourselves, thinking we can solve this thing better than the Creator of the universe. We are warned against lukewarmness in Revelation 3:

I know you inside and out, and find little to my liking. You’re not cold, you’re not hot – far better to be either cold or hot! You’re stale. You’re stagnant. You make Me want to vomit. You brag, “I’m rich, I’ve got it made, I need nothing from anyone, oblivious that in fact you’re a pitiful, blind beggar, threadbare and homeless.”

Revelation 3:15-17, The Message Remix

My challenge to you (and myself) is found in this old hymn, I Surrender all:

All to Jesus, I surrender. All to Him I freely give.
I will ever love and trust Him, in His presence daily live.
All to Jesus, I surrender. Make me Savior, wholly Thine.
Let me feel Your Holy Spirit, truly know that Thou are mine.
All to Jesus, I surrender. Lord I give myself to Thee.
Fill me with Thy love and power, let Thy blessing fall on me.

I surrender all, I surrender all.
All to thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all.

A new year has arrived...

2008-01-02T07:52:00.000-05:00

For some, the New Year came in with force and fury, in great celebratory style while others slept quietly thru the stroke of midnight, resting their way into 2008. For me and my husband, we were in the company of friends as the ball dropped in Times Square, in quiet celebration with sparkling beverages in hand. It is awesome for me looking at 2008 with much anticipation, knowing that God holds time in His hands despite our best human efforts so somehow shift that power to ourselves. We so often tend ot think we can do so much more than He can and not only do a better job but also one completely in a more timely matter. Why are always in such a hurry anyway?

At the dawn of creation, God utilized His awesome creativity in painting the canvas of earth. The splendors of this earth are truly amazing but pale in comparison to those of our true destination in an eternal Heaven. Six days were spent in divine, life-giving inspiration in forming Earth and its inhabitants. Does anyone recall the scripture of how one "day" is like a thousand to Him? With that in mind, I often wonder if the creative design encompassed 6 days as we know them in 24 hour segments or perhaps six thousand years. I cannot fathom the latter but think that is probably the case. God does things in ways we never would expect, taking more time to answer prayer than we think is necessary and all the while we are dreaming up ways to make things happen ourselves to somehow give God a little help.

Yesterday, I spent most of the day helping a couple select sheep for the new flock of Jacobs. Both of them were amazed so learn of time we spend in assembling unrelated bloodlines, creating a widely diversified flock for their new breeding adventure in sheep. I can recall the excitement of picking out sheep that I liked (normally from a visual standpoint -- geez, I am SO human here) only to learn they were all related or they just weren't for sale. This was the same situation for the newest Jacob shepherd's coming to our farm. To pick and choose, then have to choose again, trying to find a way to make a way for all of them "work" so that she could have the ones she wanted. It never seems to work out that way, does it?

I have a firm belief that either everything is spiritual or it isn't. Everything relates to God; everything exists because of Him. With our new shepherd friends, I see a parallel from the natural directly to the spiritual in many ways. Our unsurrendered lives tend to lean more at what we want rather than what God wants. We get excited about things we see and feel. Many times, when we compare these things with God's plans, we realize how shallow our desires really tend to be. We can fuss and refuse to comply with our Heavenly Father trying to make things "work" on our own to get our way in something but He knows the consequences of our actions long before we do. The problem is we don't really care about that, only looking to fill our own selfish attitudes and hoping God might bail us out ~ after all, He is always faithful to do that, right?

As I enter 2008, my prayer is that I compare ALL things to God's will and plan for my life, submitting to Him my every desire for His refining fire to fall. Lord, burn up what is "me" and set ablaze those things that are of You so that Your Holy Light will shine thru this vessel.

Our Father in Heaven, reveal who You are.

Set the world right; do what's best ~ as above, so below.

Keep us alive with three square meals.

Keep us forgiven with You and forgiving others.

Keep us safe from ourselves and the devil.

You're in charge!

You can do anything you want!

You're ablaze in beauty!

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Matthew 6:10-13

The Message Remix

Surrendered

2007-12-31T09:07:00.001-05:00

Surrendered -- a willful giving of oneself to a Higher Authority. In this case, my Higher Authority is Jesus Christ.

As I look back over this past Sunday, I am compelled to examine how much of my "self" is fully and irrevocably surrendered to Christ. Of course, we would all like to say, "Oh yes, I have surrendered my life to Christ. I did that on ***** (insert date, time, details)." But I the question I must ask is how much have we surrendered and how long does it stay surrendered.

Being out of control is not a good feeling ~ remember feelings are fickle and not trustworthy. Control is highly overrated. When you are in control it means God isn't, therefore you become unsurrendered. Recalling a definition of control, it is along the lines of "restraint" or "to hold back". I think God desires not only for us to relinquish control of our lives to Him but to also abandon our own desires, hopes and dreams in order to fulfill His for our lives.

There is no doubt in my mind that every person on this earth has a God-appointed divine destiny for his/her life. The RESPONSE to our Heavenly Father in this destiny often determines if and when this plan develops and comes to pass. Why are we so hesitant to give it all up to Him? Has He ever proved to be untrustworthy? Has He ever misrepresented Himself as something He isn't or disguised Himself to persuade us into following Him? That answer is unequivocally, NO -- not now, not ever.

Jesus Christ desires that we come to Him willingly. God is not a puppet master of sorts, hanging out in the heavenlies to pull our strings. If He was, there would be no need for us to surrender. He could manipulate anyone and everyone He chose to at any moment. But He doesn't. He waits on us, with open arms and all He asks of us is to "Come". He doesn't require that we clean ourselves up first or that we somehow try to make things "right" before we approach Him. He only asks that we "come". I cannot think of anything else more simple than that. So why do we make it so hard?

Our human, fleshly nature desires to be in control -- you know, the whole "in charge" of one's destiny crap. Giving up control is often seen as some sort of weakness. Perhaps in human eyes it is but, honestly, I could care less about pleasing anyone aside from God. Ultimately, it is what HE thinks that truly matters. Reading from The Message Remix, let's examine the Beatitudes found in the book of Matthew:

"You are blessed when you're at the end of your rope.

With less of you there is more of God and His rule."

That word "rule" used here does not mean dominate, it means "will". It goes right into John 3:30 about "He must increase and I must decrease". The Message reads like this, "This is the assigned moment for Him to move into the center, while I slip off into the sidelines." I don't think any human being desires to remain in obscurity. We all want to be "noticed" by someone. Jesus Christ's life was very much obscure from the popular crowd, the main stream life. Everything He did and said went against the "grain" of religion. Jesus does not desire that we become more religious at all. His desire is that we come into relationship with Him~complete and total dependence on someone (Him) other than ourselves. Today, I will end with this:

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me -- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of Grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

Matthew 11:28-30

The Message Remix

Listening.....

2007-12-27T08:57:00.000-05:00

I was reading my Bible this morning and came across a quote listed in the introduction before the book of Nahum. Crediting The Message Remix (Eugene H. Peterson, NavPress 2003, 2006) here...the intro centered on the huge, larger than life players in modern day history and how they make the world seemingly a center stage for themselves. They are said to often make a lot of "noise" and routinely call attention to themselves, managing to capture the attention of many people ~ this often includes many Christian's. This "Ninevah-distraction" has people focused on that person, rather than THE PERSON of God and His continual way of working. The Message (in the introduction to Nahum)reads this way, "God's characteristic way of working is in quietness and in prayer." It went on to say, "If we are conditioned to respond to noise and size, we will miss God's word and action."

Nahum's writing was certainly interesting in relative term's to today's Christian. The book written towards the people of Israel provides a graphic scene of judgement. It seems Christian's these days are so convinced that God will not judge His children, they often continue a life of sin by playing what I call the "grace card". But my Bible also says EVERY MAN (and woman) will be judged. I think we fail Christ by some how playing off "sin" too casually these days. The "church", as a whole, has failed to remain that pure and spotless Bride that Christ so longs to wed. We have become so much like "the world" that a non-Christian cannot even tell the difference and it's no wonder so many people of today say the church is full of hypocrites.

While as Christian's, and THRU JESUS CHRIST we can do all things, we cannot continue to resurrect our old, fleshly lifestyle and call it "victory". My Bible says we are to crucify the flesh daily, dying to ourselves and our own desires every day. Can you imagine this? I mean, really doing this? Laying down ALL your hopes, your dreams, your desires for your life and simply saying, "Yes, Lord" to everything God would ask you to do? Jesus Christ did. He set the example for us to follow.

When the sheep are totally dependant on their Shepherd, they come willingly and without a second thought. After all the Shepherd knows what's best for the flock, right? In relating this to my own sheep, many of my Jacobs will follow me just about anywhere. Now, there are a certain few who hold back, only coming if I am offering grain from the white bucket. How similar does this seem to the Body of Christ as a whole? Some will follow without question, but the majority only come when they see the "treats" He holds out. God has such an amazing banquet of Himself set before His people and He desires that they take ALL of Him. There comes a day when we must stop treating God and our relationship with Christ like a buffet bar -- taking what we want, when we want it and then running off on our own way. Christ gave all of Himself, in death and in resurrection, so that we could live an eternity with Him. He never asks more of us than He first gave us, so willingly.

I do not see any middle ground with Christ and that is what makes a lot of people nervous. There is no compromise, you either know Him or you don't. You are either on your way to Heaven or on the road to Hell, there is no purgatory. It's all or nothing. Even the words of Christ read "he who is not for Me is against Me..." You either take all of Him, or nothing of Him.

New to this.....

2007-12-26T11:22:00.001-05:00

Good morning... Trying my newbie hand at blogging so please be patient as this thing develops.

CHRISTmas day has come and gone but the Reason for the Season remains ever faithful, doesn't He? I read the Christmas story, this year from The Message bible and was literally awestruck and dumbfounded, at the same time. WOW, pretty much sums it up really....

As I contemplate the list of things to do for this week, I am slightly overwhelmed at the tasks at hand. Taking down decorations is at the list top mainly because we have 2 dug trees, needing transplanting and the weather is favorable this week so far. I have many outdoor cleaning chores to be done, again more to do than hours in the day. Sound familiar to anyone? :)

Overwhelm -- interesting word to say the least. Webster's defines this as "to pour down upon or over or to bury beneath". I would imagine our own decision to be overwhelmed (buried) or not often determines our daily priorities. Feelings are fickle (thank you, Joe) and cannot be trusted. Emotions are merely roots of our flesh, not our spirit in Christ Jesus. CHOOSING this day whom I will serve, it will not be my flesh by my spirit man who is alive and strong in the Lord. My prayer is that this day I will reflect the love and character of Jesus Christ and not be an image of my circumtances. All for Jesus!

Leaving now with a thought for the day....
"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be." Jeremiah 17:9-10, The Message Bible